A Follow-Up

Now that the semester is officially over, I decided this evening I would start doing all the things I'd put off for the last couple weeks. Things like laundry, decorating for the holidays, and giving an entire movie my undivided attention. The Shop Around the Corner was starting when I arrived home from work so I sat right down and watched the whole thing. I like this side of December much more than the last couple weeks.

One bright spot amidst the dark darkness of finals was my birthday. I took the day off and gave myself time to finish up the last of my projects for the semester. Katie took me to Costa Vida for lunch, Alisa stopped by the house on her way home from work with a bunch of yellow tulips and some chocolate just for me, then the folks took me to La Cocina that evening for dinner. But the brightest spot of all? I received an email that afternoon from my instructor (THAT instructor), notifying our class that the final grades had been posted. She mentioned, once again, that she takes attendance very seriously and would not be making allowances in her advanced classes if we had excessive tardies or absences. Fine. I wasn't thinking that far ahead - I just wanted to see what my grade was. 

I opened my student profile and slowly scrolled down the page with one eye closed. As long as I didn't know my grade, there was still a chance I passed. But once I knew, that was it... ACK!

So... I passed. And what's more, I somehow stayed above a B. I almost cried - my terrible punctuality had not totally compromised my overall grade. Earlier in the semester I posted that one thing I enjoyed about pursuing this degree was that your work speaks for itself. This class made me work harder than any other I've ever taken and my final grade was a welcome acknowledgment of the many hours and lost weekends I'd put in. Still, my list of New Year's resolutions for 2015 should probably include overcoming my tardy tendencies. 

My Reality

I found this quote the other day. During those moments where members of the Church challenge my faith with their personal opinions, I need to remind myself...

And sure, maybe my opinion isn't yours...

Does this mean I will rejoice in your failures or turn away and pretend I haven't labored against my own doubts and anxieties? Certainly not. But still, "we should never allow doubt to hold us prisoner and keep us from the divine love, peace, and gifts that come through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ." His love is a universal reality we should never question.

High to Low and Back Again

Last weekend began with a high, dropped to a low, then rested lightly on another high.

The first high came in the form of brunch at Millcreek Cafe with the girlfriends. All of us in town at the same time? Better make a brunch of it like the fancy ladies we are! After a head count I realized that among the 8 of us we have a total of 6 husbands, 5 toddlers, 1 infant, and 2 more little ones on the way. Cumulatively we've all done quite well for ourselves! And though things are always changing, I'm glad we all remain comfortably "the same." I love these ladies...

After brunch I enjoyed a run at Millcreek Rec Center (and by "run" I mean a jog-walk-jog-stagger). Then I puttered about with some errands and chores, finally resigning myself to what would be the low point of my weekend: preparing my Relief Society lesson. Humbug. 

I often feel intimidated and anxious about teaching (as any sane person would), but these feelings usually diminish as I prepare a lesson. Throughout my calling I've noticed certain topics are a little more teachable than others and this week's topic was the Oath & Covenant of the Priesthood. I agonized all week long over how I would present the lesson to our Relief Society. The recent social/political climate within the Church regarding women and the priesthood certainly wasn't making things any easier. Then with last week's hubbub over the founder of Ordain Women facing potential excommunication, my preparation came to an absolute stand-still. 

How, how, HOW was I going to teach this lesson? 

Surprisingly, teaching the lesson was my concluding high for the weekend. Everything came together remarkably well, though my overall contribution was minimal. I've decided Singles' Wards are the best... I wish all discourse within the Church could be as affirming and compassionate as those insights shared by the amazing sisters in my Relief Society. I am always impressed by their testimonies and willingness to share what they know. They get it. 

Oh yeah, and then there was Post A Photo of Your Dad On Facebook Day. Formerly known as Father's Day. He would never admit this himself, but I think my dad enjoys being fussed over every so often. He's our Grumpy Dad with a heart of gold... We honored him with rib-eye steaks, pajamas, Lemon Heads, and a new roll-y suitcase with wheels that not only roll to and fro, but spin. Now he just needs to go on vacation so he can use it... Preferably the kind of vacation where we're all invited, but Dad pays for everything. Yeah...

Lately Lauren Likes

Coldplay... They released a new album and I don't care what anyone else says, they are great. Greatest ever? Maybe not. But I just don't care. 

Happy news... Sometimes good, exciting things happen to people you know and you can't help but feel happy for them. The genuine kind of happy, not the okay-I'm-happy-for-you-but-I'm-not-about-to-throw-you-a-party happy. I really do feel genuine happiness for most people, so feel free to share any good news with me!

Ingrid Michaelson... I am a sometimes fan of her stuff, but I've loved this new "Girls Chase Boys" song. Here's a fun game! First, watch Robert Palmer's video for "Simply Irresistible"...

Then watch the "Girls Chase Boys" video... 

See? Such fun.

Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham... Lorelai Gilmore wrote a book! And it isn't terrible! Except it sounds a lot like Lorelai Gilmore. Which is majorly entertaining, but sometimes hard to follow. 

Spring... And all its various sights and smells! Since I can't be outdoors all the time, I've resorted to throwing open plenty of windows. 

Running through sprinklers... My siblings and I planned a trip to our community pool which was supposed to open on Memorial Day. When we arrived, the door was bolted shut. A few phone calls later we found out the pool hadn't been heated or treated yet, so NO POOL... We resorted to backyard sprinklers and childishly chasing one another with a garden hose. I officially hate running in a bathing suit.

Sunscreen... The official smell of warmer weather. 

Reverse Charades... It's just like it sounds - you divide into teams, but only one person from your team tries to guess as everyone else performs. When our team drew Fred Astaire, my dad didn't feel like he could pull it off. So we told him he could be Ginger Rogers when we acted it out.  

This Book... The title of which sums up how I feel whenever I hop on my Facebook or Instagram accounts these days... 

YES. Yes, they are.

Ugly Betty...  I think I caught half of the last season when it originally aired in 2010. The show popped up on Netflix recently so I decided I'd start from the beginning. BLECH. Thank heavens there are only 4 seasons, because I could not commit to more. I paused it the other day when my mom walked in the room. She asked, "Are you watching something naughty?" and I said, "No, it's just stupid. And I don't want any witnesses." 

Almonds/Chocolate... Any combination of the two, really. Except almond chocolate milk. ICK.

Family... However you define family... We all need somewhere safe where we can find encouragement and feel comfortable being ourselves. You can't choose your family, but ideally you'd choose them anyway. And that's how I feel (most of the time) about my family. 

Under da Sea

Last night I went to see The Little Mermaid with some friends. I love it when Disney re-releases their classic movies in theaters. This was the first big movie I ever saw, way back in the days of Starship Theaters on Wasatch Boulevard. I was 4 and I remember practically skipping out of the theater after the movie. Our family played the soundtrack everywhere we went in our Ford Aerostar and if I ever found myself in a pool or a bathtub, I was soon crossing my legs at the ankles and calling myself Ariel. 

Back to last night... The theater wasn't very full, but there was a lot of audience participation as the movie played. I think it's impossible to watch something like that without singing along, but nobody seemed to mind. 

I think my favorite part of the whole thing (besides Prince Eric's dimples and blue eyes) was when a girl, probably about 4 or 5 years old, got up from her seat during "Under the Sea" and just started dancing. She jumped down to the open area between the floor seats and upper seats and didn't seem to mind other moviegoers could see her. When she finally sat down again, everyone in the theater lightly clapped for her. Her uninhibited joy made me tear up a little, it was so sweet. Nostalgic Lauren is a very emotional creature.

 Before we knew how to smile in pictures... 

After the movie we navigated the crowds of couples and grabbed some 2-for-1 fro-yo at Red Mango. So not a bad evening, really.

Earlier that day, the company I work for had a Valentine's Day potluck and brought in Papa John's Pizza for everyone. For the first time in a while, I actually enjoyed being at work. The Coworker's been out of town since Thursday and won't be back until Tuesday. I've had my own little mini-vacation from discussions on gluten-free recipes, how expensive gluten-free groceries are, how her gluten-free crackers taste, and why she and her husband won't buy quinoa. Pssst... It's for political reasons... Yes, we're all gluten-free FREE until Tuesday. I don't even mind the extra work. 

Then Pealed the Bells More Loud & Deep

There is a long list of Christmas to-do ahead of me today... This evening the Waters' will play host to our cousins and their families as well as our dear Grandmama. My list starts with "Make Jello salad" and ends with "Clean bathroom." But there's still plenty of time for all that...

As with every Christmas, this year I've felt my fair share of holiday cheer as well as holiday humbug... The humbug is usually at its worst whilst shopping for gifts - fighting insane crowds (that's quantity, not quality... though some shoppers are insane), air-polluting traffic, freezing temperatures, and my own gift-giving indecision. Thank goodness I can usually find my way out of this ho-humbuggery. So instead of dwelling on the joyless moments of the holiday season, here are some things that have cheered me most this year...

...Beautiful snow!

...Being among friends and family more regularly. 

...Giving of my time and resources, even if only a little. Very little. It should be more.

...Singing... A lot.

...A snowy sleigh ride complete with sleigh bells.

...Holiday movies. Even the cheesy Hallmark ones... Sometimes.

...Forgetting the over-commercialized, mass-consumer mumbo jumbo of the season and finding the Savior. 

...Seeing my sister walk away from a terrifying accident involving a collision with a semi after an 180 degree spin across 3 lanes of traffic. Her bruises are pretty gnarly, but they're preferable to other frightening alternatives. One or two angels definitely earned their wings that day.

...And lastly, these verses from "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day"... Because some of the topics trending online lately have fueled my holiday humbug. People really are the worst sometimes, you know? And good will seems in short supply...

And in despair I bowed my head: 

"There is no peace on earth," I said,

"For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men."

 So if you're reading this and are in need of and extra dose of holiday cheer, I hope it finds you. And Happy Christmas!

Thanks

...I'm thankful for home and hope I'll always have one, wherever that home may be. I'm thankful for the people who mean 'home' to me.

...I'm thankful for opportunities.

...Though my tastes vary, I'm thankful for music and the outlet it provides. I may be slightly music-dependent.

...I'm thankful for ideas and for those who provide safe environments where ideas can be discussed and encouraged.

...I'm thankful for animals, specifically pets, and the comfort their presence brings. Even if it just means having another heart beating in the same house when I'm home alone.

...I'm thankful for people who are kind, even when I am unkind. Especially when I am unkind.

...I'm thankful for my independence, though I acknowledge I am wholly dependent on friends and family for so many things.

...I'm thankful for somewhere warm and comfortable to sleep each night. Especially as temperatures plummet.

...I'm thankful for encouragement.

...I'm thankful for good stories that make you forget they're just stories. I've cried as many tears for fictional characters as I have for real flesh-and-blood people. 

...I'm thankful for the faith I have, even when this faith is little more than just a hope. There are always those truths that reinforce my faith, even at my most skeptical.

There are many other things I'm thankful for, but these are the most important to me right now. Usually I'm not one for editorializing on one's blessings, but after a low day during the holiday weekend I needed some reminding. As we all do every now and then. There... MUCH BETTER.

The God Who Weeps

Right now I'm reading a book called The God Who Weeps: How Mormonism Makes Sense of Life by Terry L. Givens and Fiona Givens. It's been enlightening thus far, though the philosophizing goes a bit over my head at times. It approaches Mormon belief from spiritual and intellectual viewpoints, illustrating how our mortal existence points to a higher power that is lovingly invested in our lives. Within the first couple chapters I've already found myself nodding in agreement at a number of passages. Here is one I read today...

Though we may be in the infancy of moral development, as individuals and as a species, surely we are striving toward a perfect model that God already embodies. And while personal and collective progress may be shaky and uneven, some moral imperatives have only grown more sharply defined across time: we reject inhumanity, cruelty, caprice, and callousness. We prize kindness, we value tenderness, and we esteem compassion. Who can doubt that the most transcendent instance of human love is a testament to a more perfect source, a love without limit? We are continuing, with tragic and devastating exceptions, on the trajectory inaugurated by Adam and Eve, becoming ever more like God, as we become ever more adept at discerning good and evil, and nourishing the wellsprings of human love. And in so doing, we grow more capable of discerning a kind and merciful God among His many counterfeits.

Five Simple Rules

I re-pinned (a word that wasn't even part of my vocabulary 2 years ago) this from a friend on Pinterest. Unfortunately life is never as easy as "5 Simple Rules," but as principles for happiness I definitely see their merit.  

I believe everyone is entitled to happiness, but not as a result of getting everything they want. That would mean I attach happiness only to certain conditions - the right job, the right body, the right spouse, the right family... I deserve it all, don't I? As I'm learning, our happiness shouldn't be about what we feel we deserve or what we wish we deserved; sometimes it’s about what actually happens in spite of our best efforts. That’s reality. Don’t say it’s not fair. Maybe it’s not. But life rarely is for most people. And still, life can be fulfilling and joyful and good and all those things I'm trying to remind myself of these days. 

I'm trying to concentrate more on what's within my control. And even if I can't control everything in my little world at any given moment, at least I can control what I do with it. Action over reaction. 

Maybe I'll start with this list. 

May Day

Happy May Day! Though it’s technically a pagan holiday, my visiting teaching companion and I used it as an excuse to leave May Day flowers for our lovely VT ladies. You place them in a container (the flowers, not the ladies) and hang the container on the recipient’s door. Traditionally you’re also supposed to ring the doorbell, run away, and let the recipient chase you (a lot like regular visiting teaching… yeah-no). We figured the flowers themselves were sufficient.

This is what our May Day offerings looked like:

THERE. Both VT assignments completed on the 1st of the month… Must be some sort of record. And flowers to boot.

Cuz

Last night I had some good laughs over dinner with a couple cousins. I laughed so I hard I made myself sick later that evening - shooting pains in my tummy and stitches in my side. So if you’re feeling particularly giggly while eating Mexican food, expect some major cramping and discomfort later on. But don’t worry - it’s worth it. Another cousin, knowing I’m a fan of Doctor Who, emailed me a link of today’s Shirt Woot. I responded and before I knew it she was asking my shirt size so she could send me one. WHAAAT? I thanked her and she simply replied, “What’s a small gift between cousins?”

Cousins… HOORAY!

A Gentleman

This moment of chivalry brought to you by Tom Hiddleston at the MTV Movie Awards... 

Me...

What a gentleman. And that better not be Julianne Hough.

She Will Find What Is Lost

I don’t know the story behind this painting. Who is the woman? What was lost? There is a lonely, earthbound figure whose eyes are cast down. Surrounding her are heavenly beings who all reach down to bless her. The hands of one reach for one who embraces another who embraces yet another; loving hands creating a celestial chain of strength and encouragement. For selfish reasons, I assume her story is my story and that I too am strengthened by heavenly hands that are eager to bless. 

After General Conference last weekend, I found myself burdened with a lot of nagging uncertainty. Not about the Gospel, but about myself in relation to the Gospel. I just felt... gloomy. That's not meant to sound melodramatic, though I'm sure it probably does. It's more of a general "Oi, what am I doing?" than a full-fledged crisis of faith.  Between the proclamations of hope and stern calls to repentance, I felt my spiritual self pulled in several different directions. We are all spiritually fed during Conference time, but sometimes we are spiritually force-fed. 

Here are a few second helpings I've gone back for thus far:

Even after the darkest night, the Savior of the world will lead you to a gradual, sweet, and bright dawn that will assuredly rise within you. 

-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf  

And remember, in this world, everyone is to walk by faith.  

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland 

She understood who she was and whose she was—a daughter of God.  

“What-e’er thou art, act well thy part.”  

-Sister Elaine S. Dalton  

The knowledge which we seek, the answers for which we yearn, and the strength which we desire today to meet the challenges of a complex and changing world can be ours when we willingly obey the Lord’s commandments.  

-President Thomas S. Monson

I did enjoy many other wonderful messages and felt inspired by the Spirit, but for whatever reason, despite those bright moments, my post-conference heart felt heavy. It felt tired. And that gloomy tiredness wandered throughout my entire week. Definitely room for improvement. 

Anyway...

This weekend I'm looking forward to working on a couple different projects. One in particular has been bugging me lately. Obsessive perfectionism has taken order (redo! redo! redo!) and made completion near impossible. I just need to loosen up and trust my instincts as well as my abilities. I would also do well to remember that less is more and that sometimes even just a little bit more can turn into WAY. TOO. MUCH. I'll post more on this project later... I've enjoyed it, but again... "Oi, what am I doing?"

Be The Song

I told you the other day how much I enjoyed Warm Bodies. Well, part of what I enjoyed so much was the music. They haven't released the soundtrack yet, but I managed to find most of the songs online. One I hadn't found until this evening. And right now it's my newest and very most favorite song. First it was the simple melody, then it was the lyrics. Boy, was it the  lyrics.

Be The Song, Foy Vance

When nightmares come, keep you awake,
Baby, close your eyes, I'll take the weight,
If I go to speak, I will refrain 

And be the song, just be the song.

When inner scars show on your face,
And darkness hides your sense of place,
Well, I won't speak, I will refrain, 

And be the song, just be the song.

And when you run far from my eyes,
Then I will come in dead of night,
But I won't speak till mornin' light,
I'll be the song, just be the song.

Flow down all my mountains, 
Darlin', fill my valleys,
Flow down all my mountains,
Darlin', fill my valleys,
Flow down all my mountains,
Darlin', fill my valleys.

I know - It's just some sweet, repetitive song written by some bald Irish guy who has nothing to do with me, but I hear it and it makes a little home in my soul. Then it seems like it was always a favorite, even before I heard it. This is why I love music. I think this is why anybody loves music.

Decembering Remember...

Because blog posts were basically non-existent in December, I started chronicling the highlights. It was a pretty fun month, worthy of a lengthy post. Bear with me... Or go away.

NOTE: Some of these pictures didn't upload very clearly. Click on a pic and scroll through if they're too fuzzy.

Early December... Friends throw a birthday party for Lauren. We eat chocolate cake, drink bubbly stuff, sing carols and showtunes around the piano, and watch The Muppet Christmas Carol. All my favorite things - I make as many requests as I want since it is my party. Everyone happily obliges. 

The Friday before my birthday, a friend at work surprises me with a birthday cake. More chocolate cake!

The Saturday before my birthday we leave our snowy home and fly (YIKES) to California. 

• Day 1: Arrive in Cali at the Long Beach airport (smooth flight!), drive to condo - our temporary home, go grocery shopping at Target, eat Pigs in a Blanket for dinner and then promptly hit the sack. Katie & Lauren share a room.
• Day 2: Lauren’s birthday!! Ignore news of and subsequent facebook posts about Wear Pants to Church Day (it was bummin' me out... on my birthday!),  Crystal Palace, visit Dustin's missionary stomping grounds, Palm Springs, McDonald’s for lunch, giant Marilyn statue, new scarf and shoes, meet cousin Angela (our very own Californian) and her BF Brian at El Torito for birthday dinner - YUM. Find a hair in my birthday flan - NOT yum. Zumba in the garage with the sisters.

• Day 3: Sleep in, play tennis, spend afternoon at Huntington Beach – actually get in the freezing water for some wave jumping. Lauren hurts her ankle getting knocked over by a beastly wave, but makes a quick recovery. Michael loses sunglasses... twice. All of us unashamedly soaked head to toe in sea water and covered in sand. Watch sun set over the water. Clean ourselves up back at condo for dinner at Outback Steakhouse. End the evening with another trip to Target.

• Day 4: First day of Disney! Disneyland… Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean... again, Enchanted Tiki Room, Jungle Cruise, The Golden Horseshoe, Space Mountain, Christmas Parade,  Snow White's Scary Adventures, Mad Tea Party, Choir processional hosted by Lou Diamond Phillips.

• Day 5: Later start… California Adventure… Screamin’ California, Tower of Terror (Not me! No thanks!), Off the Page, Sorceror's Workshop, Little Mermaid, Soarin’ Over California. Back to Disneyland...  Mark Twain Riverboat, Thunder Mountain Railroad, Indiana Jones, Captain EO, Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, fireworks and "snow" (Lauren cries...), It’s a Small World. ALSO... Lauren sees a cat run into some bushes as the park is closing! I was hoping for a cat sighting because apparently there are dozens of cats that live within the park as mousers. Hopefully not as Mickey Mousers.

• Day 6: Tennis, back to Disneyland... Great Moments with Lincoln, meet Cinderella, Ariel, and Fairy Godmother at Snow White's Wishing Well - celebrity sighting! Sleeping Beauty’s Castle, Village Haus for lunch, Peter Pan's Flight, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, Casey Jr. Circus Train, Mad Tea Party, Alice in Wonderland. Back to California Adventure... Little Mermaid, Little Mermaid... again, Aladdin mini musical, World of Color (AMAZING!), shopping, Lauren buys her first pair of Minnie Mouse ears and some chocolate. LEAVE PARK - NOOOOO!!! Visit local tourist shop for some less expensive Disney merchandise. 

Beat it.

Disney Artist Mary Blair... I want that job.

Mouseketeers

Archimedes

Oooo, la la!

That's me.

My poor, POOR feet...

AWWWWW...

?    ?    ?

We're optimistic.

• Day 7: Sleep in, avoid sad news about shooting in Conneticut, pack for our return home (NNNOOOOO!!!), eat pizza and apple pie at cousin Angela’s cute place, leave for Long Beach airport. Almost miss our plane – Lauren gets on 5 full minutes before everyone else due to a hiccup in the security check. Lauren thinks if she is stuck on the plane alone it means the plane will surely crash and she will DIE. Katie makes it through the gate… then Alisa and Dustin… then everyone else. Phew. If we die, we die together.

That same weekend (SURPRISE! We arrive home safely from the trip)… See Alfie Boe sing for Music & the Spoken Word at the Conference Center - attend with cousin Stephanie and her family. Took Mom’s ticket because she didn't want to go out in the cold… Sucker! Such wonderful music and the sweetest stories. By far the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard in that Conference Center... Caroling with friends later. I miss the caroling, but visit with everyone over hot chocolate and popcorn afterwards.

Receive birthday box from Missouri with cute handmade gifts. Hooray! It was literally a brown paper package tied up with string.

GDO (Girls' Day Out) at Sweet Tomatoes for our annual sock exchange. We wanted to eat somewhere we could hang out as long as we wanted and eat lots of food. Also, somewhere that wouldn't be too busy. I got tall, neon zebra socks. It was a fun afternoon!

Ward Christmas Program - We did it! I love my ward. 

Christmas Eve: Eat lots and lots of fudge, Grandma and the Wade family come over for our annual dinner, read the Nativity story and sing carols, cousins exchange gifts and we open our PJs. Lauren stays up late watching 1980 BBC version of Pride & Prejudice - never seen it before. A little dated, but decent. Eats lots more fudge.

Christmas Day: Open gifts from siblings - Santa gave us Disneyland so we're not complaining about the lack of packages under the tree. No sir. Jack Skellington bobblehead from Michael, Avengers DVD from Katie, dance-y games for Kinect from me to the family, beautiful leather-bound edition of The Hobbit from Alisa and Dustin. Drive up to Grandma's for cousin gift exchange and party. Bubble necklace from cousin Samantha, Union Jack umbrella from Grandma, Tony Bennett Duets CD and 3-pack Nivea lip balmmmmmm from Steph. Also, chocolate of the Snickers and Nestle Crunch variety. Consume even more fudge.

New Year's Eve: By now the fudge is gone. Complain about how New Year's is not my favorite of holidays. Set goals for the next 365 days of my life. Watch Men in Black 3 with the family while eating homemade chili. Play aforementioned dance-y games on the Kinect. Watch ball drop and drink bubbly stuff. BAM! 2013.