You can't always judge a book by its cover...

And Edenbrooke had a lovely cover.

Yes, I did finish the book. And while it did get slightly better, I don't think I'd recommend this book to anyone over the age of 15. Even then there are dozens of books I'd recommend before this one. I guess as a romance novel written in the 21st century (not really my genre) it was better than some, but I don't know how anyone could say this was their favorite book ever. And some reviewers did. Their favorite! Ever! Baffled.

Here are some things I found frustrating about this book...

• Repetitive descriptions...  Bound emotions threatening to spill out of Marianne's heart, Philip's smoldering eyes peering through his lashes, burning fires threatening to consume from within (Yikes! A proper romance?), a flirt who flirts flirtatiously, blushing, blushing, and MORE blushing... Philip flirts and Marianne blushes. The perfect match.
• I know this sounds petty, but Marianne shrugged a few times... The gesture just didn't fit. For a story like this, a shrug is something you wear, not something you do with your shoulders. Stop shrugging, shrugger. I know, I know... It's a dumb critique. But there were other little touches like this that also seemed out of place. 
• Excessive "telling" of everyone's emotions... Especially Philip's. We'd go from a scowl to a frown to a smile within mere sentences. Oh! Spoke too soon - now we're on the brink of tears...
• I didn't understand the relationship between Marianne and Philip... Both characters were all over the place, though there were moments I almost liked Philip. He was only slightly less frustrating. Even so, I have no idea where this attraction to Marianne came from. Is it because she's a little unorthodox? Because she's naive? Because she twirls?? 
• The narration... I may have liked Marianne more if the story hadn't been told from her point of view. And if she were as intelligent and witty as she claimed.
• I really couldn't tell you what was going on with other characters...
• All the misunderstandings and blind assumptions in the book were really weak. Just communicate! When Marianne hears that Philip is off in London doing something a rector "would never have approved of" she automatically assumes he's off whoring. Of course! Or after hearing from a perfect stranger (with a not-so-hidden agenda) that Philip is a smooth operator and notorious breaker of hearts, Marianne decides she'll simply ignore all signs of his obvious affection for her. Even when other characters tell her flat out, "Yeah, Philip is in love with you" she's still just, "Gee, I don't know... I hope we can be friends!" No... Actually he loves you... And I'm not sure why.
• And for how often she fantasized about kissing Philip, Marianne sure took her time concluding she loved him back. I wanted to be like, "Get out of the way, Marianne. You are too stupid for this relationship." When Philip finally does make his move, pushing her up against a bookcase and making out with her, you still wonder if she gets it. 

What did I like? I liked when Marianne's father showed up. That was a nice surprise. And Edenbrooke itself sounds lovely. Just as long as I don't have to stay there with any of these characters.

All in all, this fluff was a bit too fluffy for me. Sorry, guys. I like a good love story, but could do without quite so much trembling romance.

Lauren's Grade: C

Here's a review I enjoyed on Goodreads. She gives a synopsis of the book as well as her opinion. And she does it far better than I. 

Why do I hate this book??

As part of my 2013 effort to read more, I have burned through quite a few books. (Not literally... That's a no-no...) I've read 6 books so far and I'm working on a 7th...

TA-DA! So right now I am reading Edenbrooke by Julianne Donaldson. If you want to see a really terrible trailer for the book, click here. What kind of accent is that?? Anyway, I'm about 70 pages in (185 more to go!) and if I'm being completely honest, I want to throw this book at the author's face. (I was actually reading a few minutes ago, but was so irritated I had to stop.) It came so highly recommended and the reviews on Goodreads and Amazon were pretty glowing - the word AMAZING was thrown around a lot. But I cannot (at this early juncture) understand WHY. 

So far the book has been full of obnoxious flirting, "trembling" and "quivering" lips,  excessive blushing (I'm blushing at the amount of blushing in this book), "warm" and "searching" looks, fluttering nerves, and awkward dialogue that doesn't fit the time period. OH! And the romantic cliches... (rolls eyes)... The heroine, Marianne, observing a painting: "It's beautiful." The hero, Philip, observing Marianne observing the painting: "That was precisely what I was thinking." Or Marianne, talking to Philip about the horse she's riding: "A gentle mare would have never been enough to keep up with you." Philip, gazing at Marianne and smiling: "You are absolutely right." Duh, Marianne... You ARE the painting. You ARE the spirited mare. 

Throughout the first-person narrative (told from Marianne's perspective), there are many exclamations about Philip being a (insert adjective similar to "insufferable" here) man! Incorrigible... Arrogant... Presumptuous... Deceitful... Odious... Wicked... Not very original, but there they are. All of them.

So yeah... The story, the characters - no real substance. And it just doesn't feel true enough to the time period it's trying to represent. It's too wordy; too descriptive. I'm restructuring some of the dialogue in my head as I read, trying to think of how it may have actually sounded "back then." And what is a reticule?? Don't throw in random, antiquated names for things in an attempt to make the story sound authentic! I'm pretty sure Jane Austen would have just called it a purse... 

So maybe that's my problem. Maybe all I want is Jane Austen and the like. Maybe all I want are those perfect characters and the authenticity of the eras portrayed in their stories... Like I'd know... But people who profess to love Austen also say they love Edenbrooke. So why can't I stand it?? I'm really not a cynic... I'm a romantic!  I really am.

SO... for those of you who have read this book, please tell me why I should finish it. Or why I really should just throw it at Julianne Donaldson's face. Maybe it gets better... But maybe it gets worse... Should I keep trying to imagine the hero as James McAvoy? Is there better Regency-inspired fiction out there that isn't already written by its contemporaries? 

Or should I just try to enjoy this book for what it is? 

Whatever it is. 

**EDIT: Jane Austen has used the term reticule. I stand corrected. But I still dislike this book.**

Star Trek: Into Darkness

A Groban update... Since releasing our bogus album we have won a bogus Grammy, I was cast as Eliza Doolittle in a bogus Broadway revival of My Fair Lady, and then we were both invited to sing at the bogus christening of Kate and William’s baby at Buckingham Palace. My time has come.

Amid all that excitement, I found time to attend a very late showing of the new Star Trek movie on Wednesday night. We saw it in IMAX 3D which was fun, but not necessary. Here are Lauren's Top 5 reasons why you should see it... Because I decided 10 is just too many when I try to write these things and you've probably stopped reading by now anyway.

STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS

"Shall we begin?"

1 – I really enjoy this cast so I was excited for a reunion. And though I'm no Trekkie, I’ll never get over Zachary Quinto as Spock.

2 – Benedict Cumberbatch was scary good as villain John Harrison. I thought, “Oh, he is SO evil.” But then there were moments he didn't seem so evil. Then he’d be evil all over again, making me feel bad for thinking he wasn't. (And even then I still I kinda rooted for him??) I was very conflicted. 

3 – The endearing bro-mance between Spock and Kirk. BFFs… Even if they are emotionally incompatible at times. 

4 – Scotty's little green alien friend, Keenser (looked up the name - didn't know he had one). Ask anyone sitting near me in the theater - I was immensely entertained every time he turned up onscreen. How can one silent wingman elicit so much laughter?

5 – Seeing it in 3D, I... hmmm... appreciated all the action and special effects - so big, so bright, so loud. I gasped a lot... There was one point I even felt like I was actually impaled by a spear as it flew off the screen. But I easily enjoyed the non-action moments more. All the chuckle-inducing banter and emotional angst between characters.

Trekkie or not (my opinion counts too!), I thought it was well done. 

Lauren's Grade: A-

Lauren & Josh sitting in a tree, S-I-N-G-I-N-G...

The supervisor's out of town again this week and when I arrived at work early this morning, the little red light of death was flashing on my desk phone. I had a message. I hate messages. Especially ones left by a co-worker complaining of yet another ailment that will keep her from the office, but she'll "try to make it in tomorrow." And another co-worker in my department was off at 1:00 so "I hope that's okay." 

It was fine. Really, it was. I felt empowered sitting at my desk answering call after call after call and responding to email after email after email. I was customer servicing up a storm. Let my fellow colleagues do what they want! I play the role of martyr quite well.

Anyway...

A teenage dream of mine came true last week. A small one. I saw my cousins chatting online about the upcoming Josh Groban concert, at which point I shamelessly jumped into the conversation. Josh Groban?? After a brief discussion, we agreed we all wanted to go together and surprise our moms with tickets on Mother's Day. (Any dream can come true if the price is right.) My mom was thrilled and I was thrilled she was thrilled. My dad remarked, "There better be a ticket for me come Father's Day." Um, there won't be...

Most of all I'm thrilled because while I consider myself a Josh Groban fan, I have never seen him in concert (or otherwise). And it's about time. When I'm "discovered" by Josh amid the hoards of other screaming girls and their mothers (and fathers?), I will blog all about it... But only if I'm not too busy in the studio recording songs for our debut album. 

Coming soon to iTunes...

Praise for this album...

"In the newly discovered Lauren Waters, Josh Groban finds his true equal."

-Simon Cowell-

"Lauren & Josh's vocal chemistry will leave you spellbound." 

-Rolling Stone-

"I wept."

-Oprah Winfrey-

"It was like listening to a young Julie Andrews."

-Julie Andrews-

Mum's the Word

Today is Mother's Day! So if you are a mother, were a mother, or have yet to be a mother...

Katie Daisy

You sure are great!

Up & Downton

The theme from Downton Abbey started playing on my iTunes and inspired the following post...

You should probably find the music on Youtube and have it playing in the background while you read this... 

I've invested a lot of time in this show since its premier and was (unsurprisingly) very surprised at season 3's finale. Y’know… months ago when I sneakily (and probably illegally) watched it online. I will not be held by time constraints when it comes to my British TV, PBS! So yes, I was surprised. But not that upset. Which also surprised me. 

If you haven’t wrapped up season 3 yet, stop reading. Spoilers ahead! Spoilers GALORE. Then again, if you haven't wrapped it up by now,  for shame. 

With the opening of last season I realized I was getting tired of some of the stories, including Mary and Matthew’s. Do I speak blasphemy? I dunno... Maybe. They had some great moments in the first season – they were the first season. Then there were some good-if-not-unfortunate moments in season 2 (Buh-bye, Lavinia). But after the big wedding that kicked off season 3 (Mary's, not Edith's... Edith can't catch a break), Mary and Matthew became a massive snooze. Maybe it’s because I was all about the chase and since they were done chasing I just didn't care as much. They had a little conflict here and there, but it didn't do much for me. Not really. They were both just so… boring. British, beautiful, and boring. So when Matthew DIED, it surprised me but it didn't upset me that much. I had a moment of “WHAT?!” then a moment of “WHY?!” then a final moment of “Oh, well.” I resigned to my disappointment and moved on.

The show really does play out like a soap opera - all sorts of exaggerated drama that's either resolved quickly or miraculously forgotten... Until it resurfaces. How inconvenient. Someone posted online that all the big stuff that happened in season 3 really could have been spread over 2 or 3 seasons. I guess it would have been nice to have Matthew around for a while  longer. Ah, well. My favorite characters seem firmly in place for at least another season. 

Lately I've rooted more for those working downstairs. Anna! Bates! Mrs. Hughes! I even root for Thomas on occasion. As far as those upstairs, I cried buckets when Lady Sybil died. It was very frustrating, especially since there were 2 doctors in the room and everyone just kinda pathetically stared at each other and watched her gasp her last breath. But even after her death, I half expected some crazy Downton twist where – OH! She wasn't really dead after all! She had to fake her death and go into hiding to save her revolutionary, working-class, Irish husband! But Sybil never came back and I had to admit, it wasn't at all plausible that she ever would. So I shed a tear for Sybil and a tear for poor Branson. Poor, beautiful Branson. 

(No, hopeful reader, I have no plot twist theories about Matthew’s death. He is very dead.) 

My favorite character is Violet. She's the bigoted older relative that everyone puts up with because she's from a generation that just doesn't know any better. She's just saying what we're all thinking and she's usually half right. 

Lord Grantham fell from grace a bit, but he's made it up to me... I hope Shirley MacLaine reprises her role as Cora's mother - more sassy Grandmamas!... Edith's come a long way - I hope there's a happy ending for her in there somewhere... What about the disfigured soldier who showed up in season 2 and said he was their dead cousin - the true heir?? Is he just gone?... And how old is Daisy, exactly? She seems about 16, but the actress who plays her is my age... Lastly, what in the heck is gonna happen to Mary now that Matthew's lying dead on a roadside somewhere?? We as viewers labored and waited SO LONG for that relationship... So much angst and misery! I know they're bringing more characters on for the 4th season - maybe Mary will have some prospects there. 

All that's left is the WAITING.

May Day

Happy May Day! Though it’s technically a pagan holiday, my visiting teaching companion and I used it as an excuse to leave May Day flowers for our lovely VT ladies. You place them in a container (the flowers, not the ladies) and hang the container on the recipient’s door. Traditionally you’re also supposed to ring the doorbell, run away, and let the recipient chase you (a lot like regular visiting teaching… yeah-no). We figured the flowers themselves were sufficient.

This is what our May Day offerings looked like:

THERE. Both VT assignments completed on the 1st of the month… Must be some sort of record. And flowers to boot.