Two Oh One Two

Glancing back at my endeavors for 2011, I realized something very troubling. I didn't really succeed at any of them. Maybe there were a few where I saw some improvement, but frankly, some were complete disasters. And now I have the task, woeful as it seems, of compiling another list of endeavors for 2012. So do I try and repeat my efforts? Do I try to think of new ways I can ultimately let myself down? YES. Because though no one really cares about what I decide to do, it's important that I keep doing it. The pessimist in me says, "Why bother?" and the optimist in me (if you could even call it that) says, "Yeah, listen to that guy." Not really. Optimist Lauren says, "Okay, let's try..." 

This year I decided that it might be good if, while engaging in all these worthy pursuits, I focused a bit more exclusively on one each month of the year. This doesn't mean I will let the others fall by the wayside. Rather, as I begin 2012 I will take things slowly and concentrate the bulk of my efforts on just one item every 30 days. There are only 6 items on my ambitious list. So, I'll have the opportunity to revisit each of them at some point during the year. I just think if I start the year running on all cylinders, laboring to achieve everything all at once, I will most definitely burn out. They say it takes 20 days of doing something before it finally becomes a habit. I figure I could use a full 30. And hopefully by the end of the year, I will have cultivated a set of useful habits or qualities where before I had perhaps been too weak or lazy to care.

So... Realizing no one cares much to hear about others resolutions, my endeavors for the New Year are as follows...

January/July - Dance or walk everyday. Every. Day. I seem to enjoy these two activities the most as far as exercise. I'd prefer to start the year off trying to get my body on board for the rest of the year. My work-out routine will also include ignoring the number on the scale as I try to focus mostly on how I feel. Losing some poundage is the main objective, but as long as I'm working hard the weight will come off. Oh please.

February/August - No fast food or take-out. Sound familiar? This excludes eating out at restaurants, though maybe I'll try to monitor what I order a little more carefully. The longer you go without eating a certain something, the less your body craves it. I will also make an effort to pack a lunch for work more often.

March/September - Build my testimony. Prayer in the mornings and in the evenings without fail. Writing in my journal everyday. My real live journal. Studying everyday and trying to apply what I've learned. I don't want to rely on what others say the Gospel or the Atonement should mean to me, I want to learn for myself. I want it to be personal.

April/October - Acts of kindness. For whomever or whenever the occasion arises. Everyday. Today (as I was out on my walk... One day down!) I noticed a neighbor's Sunday paper sitting at the end of their long driveway. So I decided to walk it up to their front porch. After tossing it, I saw their large, black St. Bernard come running out of its kennel, sounding the alarm. I only peed my pants a little. No worries.

May/November - Do something musical. Singing, playing the piano or guitar, getting my family to do musical things with me... Music makes me happy and I want to feel more comfortable using what little abilities I have. This may include finding a voice teacher... If I'm brave enough. 

June/December - Read. I'd like to complete a book a week if I can. I used to love reading. I still do, but I find my attention span isn't quite what it used to be. That, and I devote too much time to... other things. I have my Book Club every month, so there's a book (or two) a month right there. I would like to start by delving into some Agatha Christie. I've long been a fan of her mysteries and to tell the truth, I want to read for fun as much as I do for the acclaim.

And so I raise a bubbly glass of Martinelli's to the New Year and leave you with this little thought, just in case you were wondering what you should do for 2012:

“This year, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgigve an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and the speak it again.” 

Pres. Howard W. Hunter

Take two and call me in the morning...

Two walks, that is...

Saturday night I went to bed feeling all sorts of stress and unease. I had our ward Christmas program to direct the next day and my mind was a jumble of key signatures, tempos, dynamics, and rhythms. As I lay in bed, trying to wind down from the day and fall asleep, a thought occurred to me: WALK. Tomorrow before Church, before choir rehearsal, before anything, I was going to go on a walk. It's been a while since I'd laced up and ventured into the outdoors - what better way to start a stress-inducing day? Sunday morning I woke up and sure enough, I felt all sorts of anxious tension in my neck and shoulders. I hadn't slept well, but I jumped out of bed and bundled up anyway. Why lay there staring at my ceiling in a panic when I could find solace outside in the (not so) fresh air? My mom saw me emerge from the basement in my winter garb and before I could utter a word, she said, "A walk - what a great way for you to relieve some of that stress." Or something like that. Very perceptive, my dear Mother. 

So finally I made my way outside. I turned on the iPod and scrolled through my music until I settled on my Film Score playlist. I considered listening to some MoTab Christmas stuff, but promptly  decided I needed some distraction from the Holiday Season. As terrible as that sounds, it was making me a little crazy. 

Though the air was somewhat disgusting (and has been for the past couple weeks), the light outside was eerily beautiful... In a hazy, dreamy way. And there was no one to be seen. I started walking (and walking) and the further I went, the better I felt. I loosened up and just let myself be. Which is no small feat! I even knocked on the sky a bit and listened to the sound. (That's a Zen proverb about meditation, but I had never heard it until I saw TRON: Legacy. Yes, I'm quoting TRON: Legacy while referencing prayer...) And you know what that sky sounded like? It sounded like someone saying, "Guess what? You'll be fine." 

Later at church I was able to concentrate on what was important and not get so caught up in the minutiae. I had almost let all that stress ruin the day. And while it had little to do with me, the meeting was wonderful. The choir was wonderful. The speakers were wonderful. And I really was fine. Hurray for fine!

That evening I was able to fit in another walk when I went caroling with some friends. We covered quite a bit of territory, too. "Over streets we go, laughing all the way - HA HA HA!" That was us. 

The long and the short of it is that I am not a Humbug and walks are great and caroling while walking is even better!

Good Day, Sunshine!

Apparently I woke up in Southern California this morning... Seriously, have you been outside yet today? Balmy. Beautifully bright, breezy, and balmy. I think it's why transitional seasons are my favorite. We get to enjoy the cool green of Spring before our Utah desert summers; the brisk vibrant autumns before our frozen tundra winters. GO outside.

Still here, huh? Okay, I'll tell you about today's walkies. This glorious weather made for a very nice walk, indeed. I prefer walking out of doors, especially on days like today, because being stuck on a treadmill is not my idea of an enjoyable exercise. At least not ALL the time. Especially if that treadmill happens to be in a gym. You may remember MY PREVIOUS QUALMS regarding my attendance at the gym.... They're nice when weather conditions won't allow for a jaunt around the block and heaven knows I love my elliptical machine and free weights, but even then I think I'd rather brave the elements outside. Otherwise I feel like a hamster on one of those exercise wheels... with an audience. And treadmills are loud... And I like outside! There are a lot of other environmental factors that can have a positive effect on a walk outdoors. Like fresh air, sunshine (Vitamin D!), wind resistance, varying terrain, going uphill, going downhill, etc. The sidewalk in my neighborhood always keeps the muscles in my ankles and legs guessing. One concrete slab might slant one way while the other slants in the opposite direction, heaved upward and slantward by large old trees stretching and expanding their roots deep into the ground. I like it. I'm no fitness guru (surprised?) but I likes it. 

...If you're still here, go outside.