Earlier last week as I left for work and gingerly tip-toed down my icy driveway to my car, I had a thought: "I haven't fallen down once this winter." Famous last words... I'd experienced a couple near-misses over these wintry months, but successfully avoided landing flat on my backside as I normally do. Which is really pretty good for me considering I have a history of slips and falls that would fill an entire season's worth of America's Funniest Home Videos had they been caught on tape.
Then, yesterday...
I was in line at the car wash (everybody was washing their cars yesterday!) at Holiday Oil when I got out of my car to pre-wash it. You know, that giant tub full of murky water and cleaning fluid that you slather on your car using a matted brush. Anyway, I stepped out into a rather soggy spot with snowy, slushy bits. The area doesn't get a lot of direct sunlight so I really should have been paying better attention. My first step was in the snow (a safe choice) and as I made my second step, I glanced up to see someone else headed to the tub of goop to grab the brush. He was a few cars behind and when he saw me heading that same direction he waved acknowledgment and got back in his car.
In that micro-second between my first and second step, I became unaware of my feet and where they were going. My left foot came down and hit a very greasy patch of ice. I didn't fall instantly, but felt my left foot slide forward slowly while my right foot held fast in the snow behind me. My feet were headed two different directions with the weight of my body pushing them further and further apart. Realizing where I was headed, I put out my arms to catch myself and slipped again, bruising and scraping my wrist. I had now officially fallen and found myself in a full forward split, the hamstring and groin muscles in my left leg straining and pulling under the pressure of my body - it hurt.
Somehow I set my legs right again and shakily stood up. No one ran to my aid, so I guess the fall didn't look too terrible. That or people were indisposed, having fits of giggles in their cars at my expense. I hobbled over to the tub, both my legs now drenched in icy, greasy water, and grabbed the brush, acting as if nothing happened - as if acrobatic feats were standard procedure whenever cleaning my car. "For my final act, I will now perform a back handspring!" But no - once I finished smearing my car (probably doing more harm than good), I climbed back in and cried.
Guys, it really, REALLY hurt. 24 hours later, I reek of Icy Hot and it still hurts. Walking, sitting, standing - all bad. So my plans for the day include sitting in a hot bath and feeling bad for myself, but not too bad.
Poor Lauren.
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| Slater makes this look easy and fun. He is a liar. |
