Expressed Gratitude

Hello, midnight. I'm trying to stretch out this weekend as long as I possibly can... It felt way too short, as holiday weekends always do. But I will have to go to bed sometime and then it will be back to work in the morning and then (lucky me) I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon.  That's just RUDE, Monday. I was going to write a glorious Thanksgiving blog post earlier this week about all the things I am thankful for, but I decided my time would be better spent enjoying those things instead. And so I did. Some I enjoyed too much (i.e. PIE). However, after browsing through some of my posts from this past year I realized that I do not always sound like a very thankful person. I just need to say that despite my bouts of emotional hyperbole and a somewhat caustic attitude, that I am thankful. Though it might be better to express it elsewhere, I do have gratitude in my heart and I am working at letting that gratitude help me overcome my more natural tendencies to become forlorn and defeated and grumpy. 

So without going into all the details of what/how/why I'm thankful, just know that I am. I promise. 

Shifting Gears

Poor Lauren has had a cold for almost a week now. "Poor Lauren." Thankfully the taste-buds have returned. Tomorrow would have been a miserable prospect without them. Not that I wouldn't have engorged myself on yummy food anyway, but being able to taste  it  will sure be nice. This year we'll be spending Thanksgiving with the rest of the wondrous and winsome Waters clan up at my Uncle Kevin's (I have an Uncle Kevin!) in Davis County. I am going to stuff myself senseless and then see what else I have time for!

Shifting gears...

It's been almost a year since my last real vacation... I've gone cabin-ing quite a bit, but I haven't hopped on a plane and gone anywhere since I spent my birthday in New York last year. I've been thinking a lot about an overseas trip somewhere, but that just seems overwhelmingly expensive right now. Maybe Disneyland will suffice. Or San Francisco. Or Chicago. Somewhere.

Shifting gears again...

Today on 9th and 9th I noticed that someone had altered the crossing sign so it looked a little something like this:

Taped over the thumb and two middle fingers.
Clever. And illegal, I'm sure. 

I'd like to meet this someone and shake his hand. It made my day. I just sat there as it flashed away, letting my amusement distract me for about 15 seconds. So if you're crossing the street on 9th and 9th (heading east on the north side) you won't be signaled to WALK, you'll be signaled to ROCK. 

Shifting again...

I have gone at least 2 blog posts without mentioning a certain show. I could, but I won't. Beyond these three sentences anyway. (Sits on hands to prevent herself from typing more.)

The gears... they shift...

I really wish I had my Pinterest wardrobe and that I could actually fit into the items in my Pinterest wardrobe. I've been in this rut where I'm sick of the stuff I own (in real life), but I don't necessarily want to invest in new stuff just yet because I don't feel like I need it. Want? Yes. Need? No. I do have a birthday on the horizon so that may elicit some possibilities. For now I will happily make do.

And now I think it's time for bed. I will need my strength tomorrow! Bring on the grub! 

The Things I Do...

Things I do that I hope that other people do too...

• Getting a box for your leftovers at a restaurant and then eating them as soon as you get home. Even though it may be after midnight. “I couldn’t eat another bite. Really... In front of you lot, that is.”

• Not having anywhere to put the stale piece of gum you’ve been chewing for 5 hours and promptly spitting it out on the street.

• Shutting your closet door before getting into bed.

• NOT shutting the bathroom door if you know you’re home alone. This is bound to backfire.

• Trying to make only one trip from your car to your front door after arriving home with bags and bags of groceries. And 4 gallons of milk.

• Laughing at the worst possible moments purely because you know you shouldn’t. This usually hits in church or during a really dramatic moment in a movie. It’s really bad if you’re the only one laughing.

• Losing count of how many times you’ve worn the same pair of jeans before you finally wash them.

• Coughing loudly or making some other noise to cover up the sound of your stomach growling like a Balrog. This never works very effectively and you just end up drawing more attention to yourself.

• Putting the carton of milk back in the fridge even though you’ve just emptied it. I don’t do this one on purpose, just out of habit. 1) Pour milk 2) Put milk back in fridge.

• Screening someone’s call as they’re looking right at you from across the street… I did this once and still feel terrible. Terrrrrrible.

• Being put on the spot (standing up in front of a room full of people, seeing someone you really like, receiving a compliment) and bursting into flames. Not literally, but feeling a full body blush creep up your back, your neck, and into your scalp.

• Wearing nylons or tights so you don’t have to shave your legs.

• Making a batch of brownies and ending up sitting in front of the TV eating straight out of the bowl. I always use the excuse that I’m “waiting for the oven to heat up.” 10 minutes later, I have only half a batch of brownies left.

• Seeing someone you know in the grocery store and going completely out of your way to avoid them, only to have them catch you off guard down one of the more embarrassing aisles where they keep acne-wash, cat food, feminine hygiene, or anti-diarrheal medication. Joy.

• Knowing you have only seconds to use the bathroom before you completely “mess” yourself and finding out there’s a line or that it’s out of order. AHHHH!! I know… disgusting.

• Sucking in your gut while checking yourself out in a mirror (thinking you’re hot stuff) then later unexpectedly catching your reflection in a window or something and realizing that your gut is hanging out all over the place. Oh, and that you have 18 chins.

• Hearing one of your favorite songs for the first time on the radio and knowing you only have a week before you never want to hear it again.

• Watching that commercial with Sarah McLachlan about animal cruelty and feeling like you've just received the worst news of your entire life. My mom and I saw it for the first time shortly after our cat Risky disappeared. We cried.

• Meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife.

(That last one isn't mine)

The Elusive Friend

There's something peculiar I've noticed about facebook. I will log on to my account and I will have a certain number of facebook friends. Then the next day I'll log on and I notice that maybe I have one less friend. How sad! But not really, because the next time I log on the number will have gone back up to what it was the time before. Without me adding or deleting anyone in the process. Huh? Who is this elusive facebook friend that keeps disappearing and reappearing? Why is the number of friends fluctuating like that? It's weird. Maybe it depends on the computer I'm using. Or MAYBE this is someone who is torn between keeping my facebook friendship or deleting it. Perhaps one day they de-friended me and then ended up regretting it and now they find themselves in this constant tug-o-war over whether I stay or go. I don't think it works like that though. Not without my being notified that so-and-so wants to add me as a friend 13 times every week. I should find something else to think about. This is stupid.

???

Not Goodbye, Just Ta-Ta for Now

The Waters family has been diluted down to 5 for the next two years. This afternoon we took a very long and very surreal trip down the to the MTC where we handed Michael off to a sweet-faced Elder who helped him with his bags, reassured my weeping mother, and waved us all smilingly goodbye with Michael at his side. The drive down was a long one and rather anxious for everyone in tow. I will say that as we pulled into the MTC and saw all the Elders milling around and welcoming the new recruits my heart swelled. It was quite the sight and a real testimony to me about the importance of what Michael would be a part of. He would be in good hands. This was where he needed to be. I won't lie - even as I sit here writing this I wish I knew how he was doing. If he's sleeping well, if he's missing home, if he's happy. But those are just things an older sister is supposed to worry about, I guess. Especially since I still can't believe he's old enough to be serving a mission in the first place. I mean, I was 19 years old like, last week.

I have always felt very protective of Michael. He could be such a stinker when he was younger... A cute stinker, but a stinker nonetheless. And like any teenage boy some of those stinker-y moments followed him through adolescence. Not a lot of people understood him as well as we did as his family, but I guess that's true for everyone. I'm very proud of what he has overcome and fought through to have arrived at this point in his life where he's chosen to serve a mission. I honor the priesthood he carries and see in him so much potential to bring people to the Gospel. My prayers will be full of Michael Charles Waters until he's finally back home... He's a goofy, sweet, stubborn, talented, and beautiful boy and I love him to pieces!

If anyone would like to write this boy of ours, just let me know! I'm sure he'd love it.

More Open Letters

Dear Hair,

You are way too long. Stop it.

Dear Pants,

You are way too tight. Stop it.

Dear Family,

It was fun seeing you all over the weekend. We're never short on laughs! I think our get-togethers are too few and far between. 

Dear November,

You're beautiful! Let's keep these golden autumn days coming!

Dear Minute Maid Juice Boxes,

When will I ever learn that drinking too much juice at one time will inevitably lead to an upset tummy and a fussy Lauren? You were pretty sweet going down, but now you're causing quite the stir. Ugh.

Dear Tummy,

I'm sorry!

Dear Florence + The Machine,

Your newest song would be #1 on the current soundtrack of my life... "I'm always dragging that horse around." That burdensome, irritating, lump of a horse. "Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground." 

Dear Boo Kitty,

I'm sorry you didn't realize the window was closed before you tried to jump through it. You are one dumb kitty, but still pretty cute. 

Dear James,

No, YOU are my sunshine.

Blogged from here.

Dear Season 3 of Doctor Who (again... I know, I'm sorry), 

I think we're going to be okay. And I think (I think, I think) that Katie will tune in every once in a while so I'm not so alone in the world. Which is good news for everyone at the Waters household since they're pretty sick of my going on (and on and on) about a show they've never even heard of. 

ATTENTION: If anyone out there watches this show, don't be shy... I need a support group. Or an intervention.

Dear Self,

Unhappiness does not have to signify an absence of gratitude, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It is possible to feel sorrow and  gratitude at the same time. Sometimes it's
gratitude that saves us from our sorrows.

Dear Girlfriends,

We need a GNO ASAP! OK? LOL... JK... CUL8R? Haha...

Dear Brian Regan,

I look forward to seeing you in 2 months.

Dear Reader,

Good night.

With love.

From Me.

To You.

Television Confessional: The Sequel

So... you want to know the name of the show that has me so enthralled? Don't get too excited. With all this build-up, you'll probably just feel disappointed once I finally tell you. And possibly confused since this show may not strike you as the tear-jerky type. It may take the wind right out of your sails of curiosity, but at least you'll know. 

Is it a crime drama? Legal drama? Medical drama? Comedy? Dramedy? Reality show? Is it a sitcom with a bunch of dudes and a token hot chick? Does it take place in an office? On an island? In the White House?

Nope.

And now I'm done being obnoxious. Time to reveal my big stupid secret. I did warn you...

This show.... takes place everywhere. It spans galaxies, universes, and dimensions; past, present, and future. (Not Star Trek) Our brilliant and charismatic hero is a time-travelling alien, the sole survivor of a race that has been completely wiped off the face of the... uh... everything (well, as far as I know). He traverses time and space with various companions, saving humankind, alien-kind, and everyone in between. 

He is... the Doctor.

"The Doctor?"

Yes.

"Doctor who?"

Exactly.

Television Confessional

I can be such an embarrassing human being sometimes. You would be surprised. It's just a TV show, Lauren! A stupid TV show! ACK! 

I can't stand it. 

First of all, can I tell you how much I've been failing at the concept of GOOD, BETTER, and BEST lately? Shocker. So what would the opposite be? BAD, WORSE, and WORST? I don't think I've strayed into BAD territory, but I haven't exactly been staying up until the wee hours of the morning reading my scriptures and knitting mittens for the needy. No, I have found a new mania. And it entertains me so. 

Please don't judge me too harshly. After all, my life is so very boring.

The show in question was never one I followed very closely. I would catch an episode here and there, but not intentionally. Maybe if I was channel surfing on a Saturday morning in my jammies and I noticed they were having an all-day marathon... But I wouldn't turn on the television with the sole purpose of watching it. I noticed that a couple of blogs I follow would post every now and then about the show. That piqued my interest a bit so I educated myself via the likes of Wikipedia and IMDb to try and gauge whether I wanted to invest more time in this series or not. I'm too embarrassed to even tell you what the show is... 

Why so embarrassed?

It's so stupid, but there I was... folding laundry in my bedroom (hey, maybe I'm not completely useless) and watching the finale of Season 2, thinking to myself (stars and moonbeams in my eyes), "Oh, how I love this show! Isn't life wonderful?" Suddenly, the episode started looking familiar. I had seen it before! Then I slowly began to recall how it ended. It ended badly. So badly. It wasn't fair... I thought this particular episode wouldn't be coming until later! Much later! Like, two or three seasons down the road! But there it was. As the events unfolded on my computer screen, I sat there elbow-deep in freshly-laundered towels and cried like a baby, mocking myself on the inside because really (REALLY), I felt like such an idiot. 

Me: "Why are you crying?"

Me: "It's just so sad!"

Me: "Do you realize how pathetic you are?"

Me: "... yes."

Me: "Oh, go blow your nose! I can't bear the sight of ya..." 

And as if it wasn't heartbreaking enough the first time around, I went back and watched the last 10 excruciating minutes all over again. Frankly, I'm still a little grieved. When I woke up this morning, something felt off... Why did I feel so sad? Oh yeah... It's safe to say I may have a somewhat unhealthy emotional attachment to this show now.

(Lowers head in shame)... And now I'm embarrassed that I took this much time just to write about it. Oh, well. We'll see what Season 3 holds.

Gratuitous Halloween Post

Here I am... Watching Doctor Who and fondly reminiscing over the fun Halloweekend. There was a 1920's themed Murder Mystery party aboard the Heber Creeper, a Halloween house-warming at a friend's, and then a tri-stake dance at the 'tute. We didn't last very long at the latter. Too many obnoxious warm bodies crammed into one place. Once we abandoned the  'tute for some fresh air and open spaces, we made a late-night dinner stop (complete with costumes) at Applebee's. Though Halloween is my favorite, I don't think I like having it on a Monday, simply because you have to turn around and go right back to work the next morning. And the 3 following mornings. You enjoy the bliss of fantasy for just one evening and in a few hours it's all over. Good thing there's candy to ease our post Halloween sorrows. And that Friday is just around the corner. This year I was in luck - we had tons of Halloween candies left over because so few trick-or-treaters passed through the neighborhood. The weather was cooperative (no pesky coats to hide your costume!) but my mom said she only saw about 20 little ghouls and boys making the rounds. She blames trunk-or-treating... 

I don't think I understand the concept of trunk-or-treating. It's a little too close to dealing drugs or selling fake Prada purses out of the back of your car down a darkened alley, only instead of narcotics and poorly imitated designer bags you get candy. Is it supposed to be safer? Easier? More fun? If you parents are going to be with your children anyway why not just trick-or-treat door to door in your neighborhoods? Especially if your family and almost everyone on your block took time to decorate their homes. That's just a waste of a good jack-o-lantern. What's the point of going to all that trouble if you're just going to circle the wagons and pop the back of your mini-van open in an empty church parking lot? Pretty lame. Thanks to you we have a mountain of candy at my house and it seems I will have to take up the mantle and single-handedly (or double-fistedly) devour it all on my own. So you could probably say it's been one of the best Halloweens in recent memory. 

And now, for some Mary Poppins puns from the weekend. Or Mary Pop-puns. 

Mary Pop 'n' Fresh

Mary Pop 'n' Lock

Mary Mmmmbop-pins 

Knocking on my own front door like a crazy person. Imperfect in practically every way...