A Favorite

Earlier this year I read a book by Diane Keaton called Then Again. I know Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone are "it" these days, but Diane Keaton is one of my favorite actresses. She marches to the beat of her own offbeat drum, but she doesn't bang the thing right in your face. In her book she shares stories about growing up in sunny Southern California (hard life) and becoming an actress, but mostly she discusses her relationship with her mother. She even includes pieces from her mother's own memoirs and intersperses them throughout the book, drawing parallels between their lives and experiences. I thought it was a very sweet tribute to her mother and an interesting way of telling her own stories.

Reading Keaton's first book, I was pleased to discover she really is neurotic... The woman wears a lot of hats and gloves, guys. Neurotic, insecure, but still somehow extremely self-assured. And even though she's that actress who always seems to play some version of herself in her movies (since I know her, of course), she's so likable you don't mind. Most of her roles (the best ones, anyway) are variations of the same high-strung but well-meaning heroine who inevitably has some sort of hysterical meltdown. She's good at meltdowns. 

I recently started reading her second book - Let's Just Say It Wasn't Pretty, her memoir about working in the cliche beauty-and-youth-and-beauty obsessed world of Hollywood. Not something I can relate to on that scale, but it's still stuff I worry about. What I admire is that despite holding onto life-long insecurities about her looks and being encouraged to get some things "fixed" - droopy eyes, bulbous nose, flimsy hair - Keaton hasn't had a single nip, tuck, or injection. If all that's true, it's pretty commendable. 

In this second book, there's an entire chapter about hair-envy and how much she's battled against her own uncooperative strands. HATS, remember? In another chapter she talks about the irony of inheriting the shape of her eyes from her father, someone with whom she hardly ever saw things eye to eye. Then there are the chapters describing her general awkwardness, anxieties, and pursuit of authenticity. All of this SPEAKS TO ME. 

Other chapters discuss the pursuit of beauty. One chapter describes a wall in her home that consists of almost 50 photographs of different men - all famous actors, artists, musicians, models, political figures, etc. Her "detainees." Some she's met or worked with, others she's admired from a distance. The most prominent photo of the bunch is a famous portrait taken of Abraham Lincoln, one she describes as "beautiful." As an unabashed fanatic who has dedicated an entire Pinterest board to the same creepy pastime of collecting famous (and beautiful) men's faces, this speaks to me also. She asserts, "Other women collect men too; they must." This woman does. 

I suppose I'm not really recommending these books. If you like Diane Keaton and you're familiar with her movies then you'd probably enjoy them. What fascinates (and reassures) me is how universal female insecurity is. On one hand, Keaton's book makes her seem somewhat narcissistic, but in each chapter she refocuses every self-conscious observation with this reminder: our existence doesn't have to revolve around what we hate about ourselves. Or around what we envy in others. It's not the beauty of the eyes, but the beauty of what they see. It's not about the inescapable embarrassment of the moment, but the ability to laugh at yourself later. It's not about trying to stop time from mapping its course across your face, but realizing that even after all the "fixes," there's still no stopping it. Cliches, yes, but cliches are usually just things that are true.

So yeah. She seems an unlikely favorite, but she is. I'll wrap it up her best movie meltdown... At 0:52 especially.

Lately Lauren Likes

Coldplay... They released a new album and I don't care what anyone else says, they are great. Greatest ever? Maybe not. But I just don't care. 

Happy news... Sometimes good, exciting things happen to people you know and you can't help but feel happy for them. The genuine kind of happy, not the okay-I'm-happy-for-you-but-I'm-not-about-to-throw-you-a-party happy. I really do feel genuine happiness for most people, so feel free to share any good news with me!

Ingrid Michaelson... I am a sometimes fan of her stuff, but I've loved this new "Girls Chase Boys" song. Here's a fun game! First, watch Robert Palmer's video for "Simply Irresistible"...

Then watch the "Girls Chase Boys" video... 

See? Such fun.

Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham... Lorelai Gilmore wrote a book! And it isn't terrible! Except it sounds a lot like Lorelai Gilmore. Which is majorly entertaining, but sometimes hard to follow. 

Spring... And all its various sights and smells! Since I can't be outdoors all the time, I've resorted to throwing open plenty of windows. 

Running through sprinklers... My siblings and I planned a trip to our community pool which was supposed to open on Memorial Day. When we arrived, the door was bolted shut. A few phone calls later we found out the pool hadn't been heated or treated yet, so NO POOL... We resorted to backyard sprinklers and childishly chasing one another with a garden hose. I officially hate running in a bathing suit.

Sunscreen... The official smell of warmer weather. 

Reverse Charades... It's just like it sounds - you divide into teams, but only one person from your team tries to guess as everyone else performs. When our team drew Fred Astaire, my dad didn't feel like he could pull it off. So we told him he could be Ginger Rogers when we acted it out.  

This Book... The title of which sums up how I feel whenever I hop on my Facebook or Instagram accounts these days... 

YES. Yes, they are.

Ugly Betty...  I think I caught half of the last season when it originally aired in 2010. The show popped up on Netflix recently so I decided I'd start from the beginning. BLECH. Thank heavens there are only 4 seasons, because I could not commit to more. I paused it the other day when my mom walked in the room. She asked, "Are you watching something naughty?" and I said, "No, it's just stupid. And I don't want any witnesses." 

Almonds/Chocolate... Any combination of the two, really. Except almond chocolate milk. ICK.

Family... However you define family... We all need somewhere safe where we can find encouragement and feel comfortable being ourselves. You can't choose your family, but ideally you'd choose them anyway. And that's how I feel (most of the time) about my family. 

The Good, The Bad, & The Mildly Grotesque

Good... The Coworker is moving from full-time Customer Service to part-time Accounting and the company has hired her replacement. Today was the new girl's first day and she seems relatively healthy and normal. I could weep.

Bad... The Coworker is responsible for training the new hire for the next couple weeks. She's teaching her the ins and outs of our department while also giving her a comprehensive personal history. It's like playing a getting-to-know-you-game where nobody asks any questions and only one person keeps volunteering unsolicited details about their life. Details the rest of us have all heard numerous times. I could weep. Instead, I kept making trips to the Peanut M&M dispenser in the break room. Or as I like to call them, chocolatey mood-stabilizers. 

Good... After a lot of angst-y indecision and poorly executed ideas, I finally finished a bulletin board display for my Singles' Ward. 

Bad... It was raining too hard this evening for me to pack everything up and take it to the ward building. I thought assembling at home would be easier... And less scary than a dark empty church building on a stormy night. Heebie jeebies.

Good... I finished Bossypants by Tina Fey. Someone recommended listening to it on audiobook, but it seemed unnecessary considering her voice comes through her writing pretty distinctly. Tina Fey is now the voice in my head, actually. If you're looking for an excuse to sit in your car on your lunch break so you can read without frightening your co-workers with random bursts of laughter, try this book out. 

Bad... The book was pretty irreverent, but never enough to make me stop reading. I was enjoying it too much. Also, it validated my own insecurities as a horrible human being with a gross dependence on sarcasm and chocolate (see above). That wasn't an apology... I would read this book again... And probably will.

Good... Rain, rain, and MORE rain!! 

Bad... Rain, rain, and SNOW??

Good... I was released from my calling as Ward Choir Director after almost 2 1/2 years. I was afraid I'd age out of the ward before they set me free. I was even considering marriage as a means of escape, but my options were far too numerous. 

Bad... They called my sister to replace me. So while I'm free of the responsibility, I'm still expected to attend choir every week... On pain of death. But I love singing with the ward members without the added pressure of inspiring them to join the choir. And taking it personally when they don't show.

Good... I found and purchased a beautiful song I heard in a terribly sad movie I watched last week. It's called "Red Oak Tree" by James Vincent McMorrow.

Bad... Because I associate the song so closely with this movie, I'm afraid to listen to it. It's just sitting on a playlist somewhere, waiting for me to have a listen and cry non-fictional tears over fictional characters. Too soon.

Good... Last Friday I cleaned and semi-refinished a music cabinet that used to belong to my grandparents. 

Bad... I'm too young to spend my Friday evenings restoring antique furniture. Here's to more exciting adventures this weekend! Or at least more sleep.

Lately Lauren

Likes...

...Guacamole.

...Austenland by Shannon Hale… A fun and funny read! I enjoyed it, though previews for the movie seem a tad unfortunate. We'll see...

...Keeping Up Appearances… Maybe I’ll see you at one of Hyacinth's candlelight suppers.

That's B-U-C-K-E-T.

...Songs from The Civil Wars’ new album. Beautiful!

...Parking lot dance party reunions and seeing old friends.

...Trips to the mountains where there's no light pollution and you can actually see the stars. (There were SO MANY stars!) I spent Friday up at Silver Lake with the Bird Girls then drove up to a friend's cabin in Oakley where we spent the night and hung out with her cute grandma. I needed a break from the stifling heat of the valley. 

...Drop Dead Diva… They brought the show back AND it isn't terrible! Knocks wood…

...Zumba GNO! 

...Corn on the cob. 

...Summer sunsets.

Loathes...

...The Civil Wars… But just lately. I do love this band. Their music is beautiful and their chemistry is pretty incredible considering they aren't romantically involved. Or are they?? Personally, I wish they were… Anyway, the band had a falling out while on tour late last year and released a statement on facebook citing “internal discord and irreconcilable differences of ambition.” They canceled the tour, but promised new music for 2013. Fans speculated and whined about the break-up, but months later they made good on their promise and announced a new album. Hooray! But wait… Interviews released through their official site state despite releasing the album, the duo has not reconciled… They aren't even speaking… And “if you want to know what happened to the band, listen to the album.” Erm... Hooray?? I still love this band, but I can’t help but feel The Civil Wars are exploiting their own supposed civil war to promote this record. Though it won't stop me from buying it.

...Flooded basements and the moldy smell of drying carpet. Like Pirates of the Caribbean, but more stinky. And, sadly, not in Disneyland.

...Back-to-school nerves. I'm all jittery because though it’s finally happening, I worry about what will happen now. Now that it’s not just some obscure goal.  

...Wardrobe malfunctions.

...Summer heat.

...Mosquito bites.

Why do I hate this book??

As part of my 2013 effort to read more, I have burned through quite a few books. (Not literally... That's a no-no...) I've read 6 books so far and I'm working on a 7th...

TA-DA! So right now I am reading Edenbrooke by Julianne Donaldson. If you want to see a really terrible trailer for the book, click here. What kind of accent is that?? Anyway, I'm about 70 pages in (185 more to go!) and if I'm being completely honest, I want to throw this book at the author's face. (I was actually reading a few minutes ago, but was so irritated I had to stop.) It came so highly recommended and the reviews on Goodreads and Amazon were pretty glowing - the word AMAZING was thrown around a lot. But I cannot (at this early juncture) understand WHY. 

So far the book has been full of obnoxious flirting, "trembling" and "quivering" lips,  excessive blushing (I'm blushing at the amount of blushing in this book), "warm" and "searching" looks, fluttering nerves, and awkward dialogue that doesn't fit the time period. OH! And the romantic cliches... (rolls eyes)... The heroine, Marianne, observing a painting: "It's beautiful." The hero, Philip, observing Marianne observing the painting: "That was precisely what I was thinking." Or Marianne, talking to Philip about the horse she's riding: "A gentle mare would have never been enough to keep up with you." Philip, gazing at Marianne and smiling: "You are absolutely right." Duh, Marianne... You ARE the painting. You ARE the spirited mare. 

Throughout the first-person narrative (told from Marianne's perspective), there are many exclamations about Philip being a (insert adjective similar to "insufferable" here) man! Incorrigible... Arrogant... Presumptuous... Deceitful... Odious... Wicked... Not very original, but there they are. All of them.

So yeah... The story, the characters - no real substance. And it just doesn't feel true enough to the time period it's trying to represent. It's too wordy; too descriptive. I'm restructuring some of the dialogue in my head as I read, trying to think of how it may have actually sounded "back then." And what is a reticule?? Don't throw in random, antiquated names for things in an attempt to make the story sound authentic! I'm pretty sure Jane Austen would have just called it a purse... 

So maybe that's my problem. Maybe all I want is Jane Austen and the like. Maybe all I want are those perfect characters and the authenticity of the eras portrayed in their stories... Like I'd know... But people who profess to love Austen also say they love Edenbrooke. So why can't I stand it?? I'm really not a cynic... I'm a romantic!  I really am.

SO... for those of you who have read this book, please tell me why I should finish it. Or why I really should just throw it at Julianne Donaldson's face. Maybe it gets better... But maybe it gets worse... Should I keep trying to imagine the hero as James McAvoy? Is there better Regency-inspired fiction out there that isn't already written by its contemporaries? 

Or should I just try to enjoy this book for what it is? 

Whatever it is. 

**EDIT: Jane Austen has used the term reticule. I stand corrected. But I still dislike this book.**