Are You Surreal?

The struggle is surreal.

Since graduating high school I have never not been working, not unless I was on vacation or sick. So the past couple weeks have been pretty bizarre. There was a time for wallowing and feeling oh-so-sorry for myself, but I'm fortunately past that now. Liar. Okay, so I'm mostly past it. 

The resume has been updated, the portfolio polished, and applications submitted. There have even been a couple nibbles so far. I had an interview just a couple days ago and it lasted ONE HOUR. This guy had so many questions, some of them pretty bizarre, but I can now safely say I prefer a longer, detailed interview to one where you're shuffled in and out before you can get your bearings. 

Here's just one of the questions I was asked: 

Let's say your shot with a shrink ray and thrown into a blender... What do you do? 

Uh... was this a scenario in Antman? Is there anything else in the blender I could climb out on? Like a banana??

Hmmm... No.

Okay... I would probably stand on one of the blades so that when the blender is switched on I'd be jettisoned out the top... Will that work?

Actually, I don't know why I asked that... I read somewhere that they ask that in interviews at Google... 

I felt great about the interview, but the tricky part is that I'm not sure if this job is what I need right now. Like, I know I need a job ASAP, but I also need to find something close-ish to home that will pay the bills and be flexible enough to let me finish school, which is still at least one year away. Oi. This job would definitely pay the bills, but it's a full time position and I would potentially be working in Lindon. That's in Utah County, folks. Far away from home and not conducive for commuting to school and back within a reasonable time frame. 

BUT... the job is a straight-up design position. No more glorified receptionist work for me, thanks. No more promises of maybe using my design skills to take on other projects. If I get the job, my official title would be Lauren Waters: Graphic Designer. Scary. But we'll see if the company even makes me an offer. If I don't get the job, I think it would be due to my lack of professional experience. I tried to represent myself and my work as effectively as possible, but even if the answer is No I think it would be more of a Not right now instead of a Never gonna happen.  

We'll see, we'll see, we'll see... 

For now I guess I need to get comfortable with the possibility of jumping into an honest-to-goodness design job ahead of schedule. So much ground left to cover, but if I wait until I feel I'm ready I may wait myself into just another job at just another company. And while waiting often feels safe and familiar, I'm getting tired of waiting.

The Shake-Up

I can't wait for September. August has brought some unexpected changes, a few of which I'm not handling so well. I don't mind shaking things up every so often, just as long as I'm not too shaken up in the process. This recent shake-up involves a new school year, a new job, and more than likely a new living situation. All of these "news" will precipitate newer news, but one day at time please. Sigh...

Let's talk about the new job. A few weeks ago I was approached by a former supervisor who actually hired me at Candle Warmers Etc. back in 2012. The company he now works for had a position opening up and knowing how limited my options were at my current job, he reached out to see if I was interested. I wasn't so sure, but was finally persuaded to at least submit my resume. One week and two interviews later, I was offered the job. Starting next Thursday I'll be working for Rainey Homes in Bountiful. The job itself will eventually develop into a kind of office manager position with a smattering of marketing and social media responsibilities - all of which sounds pretty random, but I like wearing lots of hats. And it's a bit more relevant to the field I'm pursuing with my graphic design degree. 

There's still some lingering uncertainty and I think there will be for a while, but here's what I do know: ANSWERING PHONES ALL DAY AS A CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE WAS LEAVING ME DEAD INSIDE. Candle Warmers is a wonderful company and I'm sad to leave my work family there behond, but after considering my options I decided it was time to move on. I don't know if Rainey Homes is the final answer to the question of my life's work (uh, probably not), but it's an opportunity for a change I've needed for a while now. So here goes nothin'... Or rather, somethin'.

Likes & Loathes Lately

Here's what's happening lately...

Likes

...The new gray paint on my bedroom walls. I picked out a shade called Sparrow because it was nice and dark. I have painted those walls three times now and am relieved that the painting phase is past. All that's left is cutting and installing the baseboards then the room itself is FINISHED. 

...Ironically, my new oil painting class. Painting a canvas is more liberating than trying to paint a straight edge around a doorframe.

...Costa Vida. I used to think, why would I bother with something similar to Cafe Rio when I can just get Cafe Rio? Well, they're less expensive, less crowded, they have specials for students, and the customer service is better. Usually I'm sympathetic to anyone in the service industry (been there), but lately Cafe Rio's employees have ranged from indifferent to nasty. I imagine working in a busy restaurant sucks, but please stop acting like we're all here to ruin your life.

...Into the Woods. I could watch it over and over and over. I especially love: Emily Blunt as The Baker's Wife, Meryl Streep as The Witch, and Chris Pine as Prince Charming. I may elaborate in a future post if I'm seized by the notion. 

...Valentine's Day decorations replacing Christmas decorations. 

...A new game I tried out over the weekend called Loaded Questions. 

...The departure of a couple people at work. Including someone who's fairly notorious around here... Yup. The office has breathed a collective sigh of relief. But she left on her own steam, guys... I wouldn't celebrate someone getting sacked, even if I thought they were HORRIBLE. That's just not nice.

...Sleeping in my own bed for the first time in over a month. 

...An album called The Voyager by Jenny Lewis. I like it in a boy-do-I-relate-to-this sort of way. The songs describe one woman's experiences and regrets, but there is definitely an upbeat, nostalgic element to them. Favorite tracks: One of the Guys, She's Not Me, Late Bloomer, A New You. That's all pretty telling... This song is probably one of my favorites from her Rilo Kiley days (and her romper is so cute!)...

...Getting rid of stuff. This bedroom remodel has seen a few phases of purging and I'm sure more of my useless possessions will see a trash can or a thrift shop before I'm finished. I'm trying to make room in my life for the things I need and stop getting cornered in by the stuff I don't. 

Loathes

...The former gray paint I originally painted my bedroom. A gray called Quietude. How nice that sounds! It was supposed to be a medium/light shade, but it was barely discernible from the white I purchased for my ceiling and trim. All this after buying multiple samples. So we painted one wall and waited to see if it dried any darker. It didn't. But since the paint was non-returnable nor exchangeable, I decided to suck it up and just throw the stuff on the walls. Both cans. Maybe 2 coats would do the trick... 

2 coats and 48 hours later, the paint wasn't any grayer than when we'd started. I called it Inversion White, which is the dirtiest a white can get without being a gray. 

I cried a bit (it's a big bedroom and I was just so tired of it all) and then announced that I was going to buy more paint in a much darker shade. Which seemed to relieve the entire family. Though they initially reassured me the color was fine, they actually thought it was horrendous.

...The inversion... The actual outside-and-in-my-lungs inversion. 

...Carrie Underwood. Lately, and I'm not sure why, we've been listening to a country music station at work. It's not turned up very loud and I will usually have my own music in one ear, but there's this new Carrie Underwood song they keep playing. I couldn't really tell you how it goes, just that she shout/sings the word "SSSTTROOOOOONNNGGGEEERRRRR!!!" quite a lot. Carrie is lovely and her voice is flawless. Obnoxiously so. If you like music that is shiny and nice and usually has one volume and tonal quality, Carrie's your girl. 

...Carpal tunnel in my right wrist. An unexpected (and unpleasant) side-effect of over-exerting my right side with repeated attempts at painting a room that is approximately 22 x 13'. My left side's still fully operational for now!

...People who brag about things like never taking Ibuprofen or drinking soda. Like, right as someone else is ingesting them. I'm the kind of abomination that usually chases down a couple Advil with a swig of Diet Coke. 

...Loud Spotify ads. If I'm listening to a playlist of classical and instrumental music, maybe find ads that would correspond with that genre. And then cut the volume in half. 

...Pre-Relief Society Lesson anxiety. My last lesson, though! So there's a silver lining.

Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you...

This evening's post marks the return of The Coworker...

So much for the high road, eh Lauren??

But maybe you never liked High Road Lauren in the first place. Maybe she's like anyone else and needs to commiserate about some of the difficult things she's dealt with recently. Maybe, because this is her blog, you'll just have to humor her.

Sparing you the details, let me just say the past couple months at work have been high stress. More-so than usual because our department is smaller than it was last year. We're in the middle of our busiest season, tripping over our own feet as we try to stay ahead of the next inevitable mess. Pretty exciting stuff for the scented candle industry, right?? But this year most of our frustration centers around one person. Let me back up...

Our accounting department was overhauled in May. That meant jobs were shuffled around in our office and The Coworker moved from my department to accounts receivable. It was a good change; one we were all satisfied with, including The Coworker. But as our busy season approached, cooperation between departments deteriorated. That is, one person's willingness to cooperate with the rest of us deteriorated. A lot. Which didn't make anyone's job any easier. 

Those in my department tried shrugging things off, mostly because our time is so limited. But soon we were passed shrugging and things got tense. So tense that a couple days ago I received a nasty response to an email I'd sent The Coworker regarding one of our accounts. We went back and forth a few times (because actual confrontation sucks) until finally she sent a diatribe that began with the following sentence: Let's get something straight... The rest of the email soured from there.

I work with lovely people, including those in our upper management. My supervisor is one of the most easy-going people I know. She gets along with EVERYBODY, but even she has reached her limit. We want to help each other out, but constantly making unnecessary accommodations for one person doesn't make sense. So I replied once more to The Coworker - a cordial apology for any misunderstanding that had taken place - and copied my supervisor on the email at her request. Now it's just a matter of sorting things out, because we're all pretty miserable with the current state of things.