"I'm PRO me and ANTI you!"

Since people use online media as a means of communicating their opinions regarding social and political issues (more often than I am comfortable with in some cases), I regularly stumble on all sorts of “helpful” bits of commentary via the likes of facebook and blogger. This is why I am so grateful that my facebook feed has a hide feature. Some people never, NEVER get down from their soap boxes (...she said from her soap box). By all means, enjoy your freedom of speech... Yammer away... Enlighten us with your unsurpassed knowledge and understanding. BUT if you start spewing ugliness, regardless of whether I agree with your position or not, I will hide you. 

Really, it’s not so much people's opinions I mind but how they express them. There are ways of constructively presenting your argument, virtually and otherwise, and then there’s what everyone else does. I am not partial to arguments made by people who, while claiming to be right (no questions asked), spew hateful and prejudiced remarks at anyone who doesn't support their position. Their attitude is "I'm right, and the rest of you are idiots." Well, guess what? I am far less likely to listen to you.

I am not talking about any specific issue or group of people. Or am I... ? No, it all sort of depends on what is currently "trending." Regardless of the issue, you'll find people on every side pointing fingers and attributing intolerance, inequality, insensitivity, and all manner of other “ins” to anyone with a differing opinion. Which is a bit ironic, when you consider the attitudes of the finger-pointers. How can I respect your views and demands for tolerance when they are offered in conjunction with a blatant disrespect for mine? I think most people don't want to listen as much as they want to be heard. And some, I fear, want only to provoke others. To sling mud and start trouble. I have often wanted to throw a few handfuls myself, but to what end? To justify my frustration with others' behavior? To satisfy my pride? To add to the ugliness?

I think diversity is good. I think it's wonderful that we live in a country where you can actually have an opinion about things. But because we are so diverse and because - in the grand historic scheme of things - we are still a relatively young country, there will always be instances of discord among the masses and a slew of conflicting beliefs. We never stop evolving, nor do our differences. In fact, the gap seems to widen. So what do we do when such conflict arises? For some, it's finding the nearest mud hole, loading up, and "Ready... Aim... FIRE!" Sorry, but for those of you rolling around in the mud and the muck, I will not be joining you. Though some of you really tempt me.

And now, Salem Saberhagen...

Best Friend status if you remember this episode...

Rumbly Tumbly

Lunchtime at work brings all sorts of smells wafting from our break room. As I sit and wait for my own lunch break, I am treated to some pleasant smells that perk up my appetite. Others have the opposite effect. But lately whenever lunchtime rolls around, I can’t help but think of this song…

Up, down, up! 

 When I up, down, touch the ground

It puts me in the mood.

Up, down, touch the ground

In the mood… (smack, smack) for food.

I am stout, round, and I have found

Speaking poundage wise,

I improve my appetite

When I exercise. 

I am short, fat, and proud of that,

So with all my might

I up, down, up, down to

My appetite’s delight!

While I up, down, touch the ground

I think of things to chew… (like honey, milk, chocolate…)

With a hefty, healthy appetite

I’m a hefty, happy Pooh!

Workouts can give you an appetite. They can make your stomach go ts-ts-ts-ts-ts-ts-ts-ts... POP! I have been Zumba-ing pretty hardcore for the last couple months, but sometimes I feel as though I only use that time spent dancing as an excuse to make poor eating choices. “Should I have those fries? I know I shouldn’t… But I danced my pants off for a freakin’ hour at Zumba… Of course I should have those fries!” See? SABOTAGE. I've read that weight loss consists of 80% diet and 20% exercise. And here I am - no better than Pooh.

Communing Commute

Just a reminder of something I learned today.

Sometimes when I am driving alone in my car and I have a long commute I will shut off my radio and just start talking aloud. It's not like a prayer really, just a "Hey, this is what's going on... Thought I'd check in..." You could say I commune during my commute. A communing commute. You should try it sometime...

Anyway, it had been a great long while since I'd last done this. So Friday as I drove home from work I turned down my radio and just started talking. It's interesting where you find yourself at the end of a drive like this. I should preface a little by saying Thursday was not such a good day for me. Bad case of the BLAHS. Lately when I have felt this way I have done very little to remedy my symptoms, opting instead to fall into a funk of indifference. I wallow a bit, listen to British pop music, surf the interwebs, play word games, eat Eggos... the usual. Realizing I had isolated myself from more celestial endeavors - like prayer - I opened up and tried articulating my frustrations in the tiny vacuum of my car. I was very candid. I think you can speak candidly with God when circumstances allow. So I did, asking that my prayer (or non-prayer) would somehow be acknowledged and that God would see the intent of my heart. Fair enough.

Once finished, I turned my radio back on and switched over to Classical 89. (It didn't feel right to follow up my discourse by listening to X96.) They were playing an arrangement of "Homeward Bound" (folk hymn, not song by Simon & Garfunkel) and as the music played, I sang the lyrics in my head. 

Bind me not to the pasture, 

Chain me not to the plow.

Set me free to find my calling

And I'll return to you somehow...

Hearing the music and thinking about the song's meaning made me feel pretty good. "I'll return to you somehow..." In that particular moment I was drawn to those words for many reasons. They were a promise. I liked it. As I finally pulled up to my house I finished up the song then walked inside. Two steps across the threshold, my ears were met with the sound of our piano and I stopped - someone was playing something familiar. I poked my head in the living room where my brother sat at the piano and asked him what he was playing. He was playing "Homeward Bound." It felt like a hug. Though it was probably just a coincidence, it was a nice coincidence regardless.

*          *          *

Hopefully that wasn't overly personal or preachy. I don't feel I have these kind of moments very often (though it's probably more often than I realize) and I just really wanted to share it. 

The Avengers

Can't wait. Must write this now.

As I walked into the Centerville Megaplex on Saturday night, I had only one thought: “Please oh please let it live up to all the hype.” That and, “Please oh please let there be a trailer for The Hobbit.” I knew I’d like the movie regardless, but having already heard so much about it I didn’t want to be let down. Let down? Hardly.

Lauren’s Top 10 for The Avengers

Starting with the obvious… and by obvious I really mean people whose faces I want to kiss.

1. Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner/The Hulk. Yes, he's the #1.
2. Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Ironman.
3. Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America. 
4. Chris Hemsworth as Thor/…uh, Thor.


And if that isn’t enough for you, I’ll go on…


5. Joss Whedon writing and directing.
6. This movie is FUNNY. As a genre, action movies are fraught will all sorts of cliché one-liners and cheesy puns. Painful. I don't think they're usually this funny. 
7. With the exception of Hawkeye (he’s a little neglected), each character gets equal face time. Though they still have their personal demons, their individual stories never overshadow one another. Part of what made this movie so entertaining was seeing how the characters go from a dysfunctional group of misfits to a fine-tuned humanity-saving machine. And a good-lookin’ one at that.
8. Tom Hiddleston as Loki… He may have been the villain, but I still really like him. More than one should, I think. I sympathized with him a bit more in Thor because he was such a tragic albeit rather slimy character. Still… as slimy as Loki is, Tom Hiddleston is just ridiculously appealing.  
9. The movie clocks in at about 2 ½ hours, but it goes by like THAT! If anything, it felt too short. I'm excited for all the little extras that will come out with the DVD/blu ray. How nice that you have something to look forward to, Lauren.
10. The Avengers > Chocolate... I knew the movie was going to be great. I had done my research and made all necessary preparations. I visited the store and loaded up on treats and drinks to sneak into the theater… Mini Butterfingers, Nestle Crunch, Coke Zero, etc. We splurged on an expensive tub of buttery popcorn and, burdened with our movie-going goodies, we finally settled into our seats. Previews came and went (no Hobbit) and the opening credits rolled… 2 ½ hours later I had only consumed about 5 kernels of popcorn, 2 sips of Coke, and I hadn’t even touched my chocolate. Any movie that makes me forget about a sizable stash of chocolate must be some movie. 


Lauren’s Grade A+

Saturday's Warriors

 

 

 

Don't stare at these for very long. You might have a seizure. I hope to flex some superhero muscle of my own today. My nemesis? A lengthy to-do list that needs checking off. As for the last item on my list...

• 5:00 - See The Avengers

FINALLY.

Things that make you go HA!

Monday! Goodnight, Monday! Here's a Monday face.

But tomorrow is Tuesday. And by Friday, this face will have all but disappeared. 

I was driving with my sister the other day. As we drove along, she started telling me a story. I guess she was speaking rather loudly because as she spoke I subconsciously reached for the volume on my dashboard. Not to turn down the radio, but to turn down her voice. I should mention that the radio wasn't even on. I only realized what I was doing when, as I turned the knob, the volume of her voice didn't change... 

In her defense, whenever we take her Trooper anywhere we practically have to shout over the chugga, chugga of the engine. At least I didn't try to tune into another "station."

On Friday my other sister brought home her recently printed wedding announcements. She walked in the door and began voicing her concern over the paper bands that go around the announcement and the engagement photo. They were all different shades of pinkish peach and none of them close enough to the shade of coral she originally picked out. She rummaged through the box looking for the right color, randomly interjecting with mumbled phrases like, "They don't match... None of these match... This is too dark... I can't even find one in the right shade..." 

It was decided we would return the bands and ask if the coloring could be fixed. Until then, there wasn't much we could do. As the rest of us conversed amongst ourselves, Alisa persistently thumbed through the paper and eventually interrupted the conversation with an exasperated "Mom?" But no one was paying much attention. At this point we were all well aware none of the paper matched and we didn't need reminding. She tried again...

Alisa: Mom...

(Chatting continues.)

Alisa: You guys, shut up... Mom!

Katie: We know! We know! None of them match.

Alisa: That's not what I was going to say...

Mom: What is it then?

Alisa: (Pauses) ...Look at these... None of them match!

Alisa didn't think it was very funny. But we sure did. She's had Bride Brain lately.

On Saturday we had a Bird Girls' Bachelorette Party for my cousin. We ate dinner at Hooters (explanation following) and then gathered at another cousin's house for some games and dessert. We all wore blingy light-up rings and my cousin donned a veiled tiara, large pink-tinted glasses, a sash, and some of her very own bling-y bling. During dinner we played a game where we would roll a pair of dice and whatever the dice landed on, the bride-to-be had to do. One dice had different kinds of men listed on each side (short, nerdy, tall, bald, etc.) and the other had different things she had to do (flirt with, kiss on the cheek, sing to, etc.). So you roll the dice and - oh my! "Sing to... a bald man." Nice and humiliating. But she was a good sport. Better her than me.

Why Hooters? Well, due to complications stemming from an organ transplant - followed by a very extended convalescence during which she was in and out of (but mostly in) the hospital - my cousin had dropped an unhealthy amount of weight and with it, her chest. Her poor body had taken a severe beating. So when she was finally, FINALLY well enough she had reconstructive surgery. And she looks great! We decided we'd go to Hooters to commemorate her new... well... Hooters. Anyhoo(ter)... the food wasn't half bad.

Sunday I was sick. Massive head cold accompanied by aches and pains all over. So I spent the day in my love sac and watched episodes of The Office, both the American version and the original version. I can't decide if I'm more shmitten with Tim/Jim or with Martin/John - the actors who play them. And I can't help it - Michael Scott is the most endearing imbecile on television.

What is it about a cold that makes me ravenously hungry? As the saying goes, Feed a cold and starve a fever. And boy did I feed that cold. My cold is probably morbidly obese by now and waiting for someone to knock down a wall, rescue it, and turn it's story into a special on A&E. Thankfully, my cold and my hunger have both subsided. 

Tomorrow! Tomorrow is Tuesday! Goodnight, Monday.

No Extra Parts