Thursday, You & I Are No Longer Friends

Derp.

Well, today most certainly presented some challenges. Way too many demands made on my time and patience while at work. It doesn't help that I feel most of these challenges could be avoided. Or that- 

And that is where I stopped typing. Why? Because it seemed my bad day was about to take a turn for the better. The package I was tracking all day through UPS had finally arrived at my doorstep. It was shortly after 7:00 and I was getting worried because I knew UPS didn't deliver late into the evening. But lo, the order status quickly changed from ON VEHICLE FOR DELIVERY TODAY to DELIVERED. My brown paper package tied up with string! My early birthday gift to me! My silver lining for this terrible, no-good day was HERE! I haphazardly threw my laptop from my lap and ran upstairs.

I referenced this purchase in my previous blog post. A Casio WK-200EPA 76-Key Premium Keyboard Package I found the morning of Black Friday via Amazon - a steal at more than 60% off. I remember I ogled the item as it sat in my online shopping cart, debating whether it would be a Christmas gift for my sister and brother-in-law or an early birthday gift for me. The clock was ticking. The offer was only available for so long! So *click* I made my purchase. YEAH! All that and free shipping too! 

Now for its arrival... I haul the box to my room and tear into it, pulling items out and putting them together. No time to read instructions, I just want to play! I set up the stand and plug the little beauty in. Pressing the power button, I wait for the control panel to light up... NOTHING. I press the button again, holding it down a bit longer this time and playing a few keys. NOTHING. Silly keyboard, what are you DOING?? I plug it in another outlet. And then another. I find a different adapter. I read and re-read the instructions: "Plug in keyboard"... CHECK. "Press 'Power'"... CHECK. I wiggle, jiggle, and toggle any switch that looks important. I even have my dad press the power button. One great, big, fat load of NOTHING.

As defeat settles in, I start to cry a little. Then I laugh because ARE YOU EVEN KIDDING ME??? My silver lining! The one thing that was to erase all frustration and grief from this terrible, no-good day! I just felt so bad for myself. So did my Mom. (Thanks, Mom) My suffering was minute, but I couldn't help indulging my self-pity a little. Poor Lauren... Spending an exhausting day imparting stellar customer service to the cranky masses only to find herself on the receiving end of this service hours later. (Did you know that working in customer service makes you a better customer??) 

So I spoke to a very nice Amazon woman (haha) and discovered Amazon had removed the keyboard from their website, stating that "Item is not working. Item has been pulled from website due to product issues." OH. That's helpful. I wrestled everything back into its packaging as best I could and taped it up tight. One return label later, I am now waiting for a full refund (BORING!) instead of my sweet, synthesized set of music-making machinery.

Speaking of silver linings, I'll be in Disneyland in a matter of days... DAYS! Just as well. 

Always, Sometimes, Never

I Always...

Listen to NPR during lunch. I like Talk of the Nation. Today's guest was Dolly Parton.

Chew Original Flavor Trident gum. Nom nom nom.

Order the Vegas Roll when going out for sushi, even if I tell myself I'm going to try something new. My most daring purchase was the Mars Roll. I am not a hardcore sushi-er. My "raw fish" to "everything else" ratio is about 2:10.

Eat a small breakfast at my desk at work. It usually consists of a granola bar, string cheese, yogurt parfait, or a breakfast smoothie from a bottle. Because when it comes to sleeping in 15 more minutes or waking up earlier to eat breakfast, sleep wins every time. Let's not be ridiculous.

Turn purple during Zumba. All the blood rushes to my face once my heart gets pumpin'. The result is like something out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 

Shut my bedroom door at night. Otherwise a certain kitty will sneak in and interrupt my sleep, gently pawing my face and insisting I cuddle with her. No, kitty. No.

I Sometimes...

Eat leftover stuffing and pie for breakfast. 

Watch non-Christmas movies during the Holidays simply because they have Christmas scenes. Movies like Little Women, Harry Potter (take your pick), You've Got Mail, Sleepless In Seattle, Hook, While You Were Sleeping, and my personal favorite, Meet Me In St. Louis. I welcome any other non-Christmas recommendations.

Think about chopping off my hair. 

Wish people who were loud, outspoken, and vulgar would stop insisting others need to just put up with how loud, outspoken, and vulgar they are. You know how I put up with these people sometimes? Me neither. The fact that you lack discretion and tact in absolutely every setting is not an admiral quality. You may be good for a larf sometimes, but don't be surprised if you aren't everyone's favorite person to be around ALL the time. "Vulgarity is no substitute for wit." Downton Abbey taught me that.

Wish I were independently wealthy. Oh, all the useless and indulgent things I would do! For myself and for others!

End up buying way too many things for myself while trying to buy Christmas gifts for friends and family. One movie for you, 2 for me. One book for you, one Casio WK-200EPA 76-Key Premium Keyboard Package for me. Darn you, Amazon! (shakes fist) Darn you and your amazing Black Friday Lightning Deals!

Think Pinterest is full of some of the most useless crafts I've ever seen in my life. How many projects can you do using only toilet paper rolls? 

Watch Anastasia... and cry. My favorite non-Disney princess movie. 

Watch trailers for Les Miserables... and cry. I'm sensing a pattern here...

Like certain movies from the Twilight series. The last movie, to be specific. And don't say you never liked Twilight, because I'm pretty sure every girl I know did at some point. Like when it was still only the first book and we didn't know Bella Swan was going to be the most pathetic excuse for a literary heroine ever  ...Team Edward!

Hate Jane Austen's Emma. Then I remember Mr. Knightley. 

I Never...

Feel quite myself around new people. Or even some old people. I'm not even I sure I feel like myself around myself!

Would have guessed Carly Rae Jepsen was 27 years old. I lumped her with the Justin Beiber generation of tween-age girls. Nor would I have guessed she was originally a folk singer! From Canada! 

Like being a 3rd wheel. OR a 4th, 5th, or 6th wheel...

Have enough patience when it comes to my fellow drivers. Especially anyone in a BMW. Is that vehicle profiling?

Tire of hearing Chris Martin singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Very merry.

Want to answer the phone at work. You just never know what mean sort of crazy is going to be on the other end. Yes, even in the scented candle industry. People are weird.

The Latest, Not-So-Greatest

I needed to take a break from putting the ward Christmas program together... I have a bunch of text I need to compile for a script and I'm up to my eyeballs in music. At this point I have enough material for a 2 hour meeting and we need to whittle it down to about half an hour. Ah well, whittling is easy. It's last-minute scrambling for ideas that's scary. Still, if anyone has suggestions...

"Everybody" by The Backstreet Boys just came on my iTunes, so I paused for a little dance party...

Since we're talking about the ever-approaching holiday season, I have to say this should be a very memorable Christmas. In lieu of gifts, our family is headed on another vacation. This time somewhere a little less tropical and exotic, but no less exciting in my opinion. We're going to... Disneyland! 3-day park-hopper passes for the whole family!! And we'll be in Cali over my birthday!!! And there just aren't enough exclamation points to articulate how excited I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009

Sooo... that should be lots of fun. There are other exciting things in the works, but we'll save them for later. I'm still hyperventilating at the thought of a Disneyland Christmas. 

Now for a look back... Halloween. The only dressing up I did was as a potato for our Halloween Zumba class. A giant Mr. Potato Head costume and I wore it the whole time. Dressing head to toe in spandex as an 80's workout instructor just seemed a little cliche for Zumba, so I wore head to toe felt instead. And honestly, the potato did a better job hiding my potato-esque physique. I was sad that I didn't take time to put a real costume together, but I didn't really have anywhere to wear it this year. Next year...

Then there was the election. I knew how it would turn out, but it was still a little disappointing. I had warmed up to Romney over the last couple months and tried to watch as much relevant election coverage as I could because I wanted to be a well-informed voter. The debates were painful, but I watched them anyway. Or rather, I listened as I hid my face in my hands. I can't handle debates. Is there anything worse? Nope. I'd have run off that stage screaming before they even asked the first question. But now it's all over. I know whom I voted for and why I voted for them and we'll see if I feel any differently about my vote 4 years from now. I'm curious about where we'll find ourselves. To quote my cousin - businessman, author, and world traveler - Devin Thorpe: 

"I'm sorry for all of my friends who were hoping for another outcome tonight. Rest assured, it will not be as bad as you fear (nor as good as I hope), I'm sure."

4 more years.

Oh, and it appears PBS has been airing re-runs of Antiques Roadshow. Kassidy had tickets for the show quite a few years back when they stopped in Salt Lake City. She took some cool Chinese Dragon furniture from the 19th century and I took a model train and an old Kodak camera - both worthless. They used footage of me from their feedback booth for their end credits, so every once in a while people will tell me, "Heeeyyyy, I saw you on TV!" A couple friends mentioned it on facebook last week and then another friend sent me a link to the video. To watch a very flustered Lauren talk about a railroad box, click here and fast forward to 52:00. Behold... my 20 second legacy.