Lauren Donna Waters is Signing Off

I'm quitting. Cold turkey...

Facebook, that is.

For a week.

I talk to and interact with a lot of people on facebook. It's fun to chat with friends, look at pictures and things like that, but I think I want to experience the real world for a little while without using facebook as a filter. You know, talking to a friend on the phone instead of waiting for them to show up on facebook chat. Or actually attending a function without waiting to see the pictures the day after. As strange as it seems, sometimes I find myself thinking in facebook status mode. That's normal, right? Or I might say something or hear something catchy and triumphantly proclaim to myself or out loud, "Facebook status!" It's a little weird. And frankly, I can get a little annoyed by some of the things some people share on facebook. It's like what that Mr. Griffith says in Easy A:

I don’t know what your generation’s fascination is with documenting your every thought... but I can assure you, they’re not all diamonds.


I know mine sure aren't. So yeah, a facebook fast is just what I need. A little hiatus from the endless stream of information I'm constantly being bombarded with. Because honestly, I've become a bit of junkie. The 'likes,' the comments, the stati, the messages, the replies, the chat, the pics... all of it. It's a great way to stay in touch and keep tabs, but I think people also use it as a sort of stage to parade around on and hide behind. It can be a poor substitute for the real thing. I don't want to take a picture with my friends while we're out doing something super awesome and then count the hours until someone posts it on facebook for the world to see. I don't want to think in status quotations and refer to myself in the third person: "Lauren Donna Waters is..." Who needs to see/know/share/read all that? Who really wants to? I'm probably overcomplicating things a bit, but it'll be nice to remove myself from the 'feed' for awhile. 


Adieu, facebook. I'm pulling the plug, logging out, signing off. 

  

Good Day, Sunshine!

Apparently I woke up in Southern California this morning... Seriously, have you been outside yet today? Balmy. Beautifully bright, breezy, and balmy. I think it's why transitional seasons are my favorite. We get to enjoy the cool green of Spring before our Utah desert summers; the brisk vibrant autumns before our frozen tundra winters. GO outside.

Still here, huh? Okay, I'll tell you about today's walkies. This glorious weather made for a very nice walk, indeed. I prefer walking out of doors, especially on days like today, because being stuck on a treadmill is not my idea of an enjoyable exercise. At least not ALL the time. Especially if that treadmill happens to be in a gym. You may remember MY PREVIOUS QUALMS regarding my attendance at the gym.... They're nice when weather conditions won't allow for a jaunt around the block and heaven knows I love my elliptical machine and free weights, but even then I think I'd rather brave the elements outside. Otherwise I feel like a hamster on one of those exercise wheels... with an audience. And treadmills are loud... And I like outside! There are a lot of other environmental factors that can have a positive effect on a walk outdoors. Like fresh air, sunshine (Vitamin D!), wind resistance, varying terrain, going uphill, going downhill, etc. The sidewalk in my neighborhood always keeps the muscles in my ankles and legs guessing. One concrete slab might slant one way while the other slants in the opposite direction, heaved upward and slantward by large old trees stretching and expanding their roots deep into the ground. I like it. I'm no fitness guru (surprised?) but I likes it. 

...If you're still here, go outside.

Rock and/or Roll

I did not go to the U2 concert the other night. I kinda wish I had, but hopefully they'll roll into town again someday. I was dreading the exclamations of "EPIC!" on the facebook feed the day after the concert from those who were in attendance, but in all fairness, I think 'epic' might be an accurate description for the type of show U2 would put on. Unless it's a certain disastrous Broadway Musical about a certain web-slinging super hero. Then the more appropriate statement might be EPIC FAIL. Heh heh.

Now that I've used 2 of my least favorite words in the english language (let's not forget 'moist' and 'supple'), I will now turn my attention to the subject of rock concerts in general. My parents have greatly influenced my taste in music, as I'm sure every parent has for their child. My mom has an affinity for Billy Joel and Elton John while my dad likes his oldies, Motown, and folk. Throw in some Broadway Musicals, 80s pop/rock, and a lot of Michael Jackson and you basically have a sampling of what I listened to during my growing up years. That's probably pretty standard for most of you.

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It should come as no surprise that due to my music-listening background I had a long-held dream of seeing the following musical acts in concert. 'Dream' as in probably never going to happen. And you'll see why:

• Michael Jackson
• The Beatles (or "A" Beatle, seeing as though there was no chance of seeing them perform all together... in this lifetime anyway.)
• Billy Joel
• Elton John
• John Denver
• Queen

Sadly most of the people associated with list are now deceased. BUT half of these dream concerts were realized. In one way or another. Some of them within the last year. So here's what my list looks like now...

• Michael Jackson - Wherever he "is", maybe he's still performing and I'll get to see it!
• The Beatles - CHECK! Partial check. I saw Paul McCartney last summer with my family and I cried (well, got a little weepy) 3 times. First, when he came onstage... Second, when he sang "Blackbird"... Third, when he sang "Yesterday"... And then I just sang and danced all the rest of the time. If Ringo Starr ever makes it this far west again, I'll go to that concert too!
• Billy Joel and...
• Elton John - CHECK! They'd been to Utah a couple times before in concert so I didn't think they'd be touring here again. Especially since they're getting older and are probably in high demand elsewhere. I won't tell you how much I spent on my ticket, but I will tell you I'd pay DOUBLE to see them again. Best undisclosed sum of money I've ever spent on a concert! 
• John Denver - He's a goner, too. I did see a concert of his from the top of a parking garage once when I was very little. I remember looking down on the stage and trying to remember if the guy singing was Neil Diamond or John Denver. Now I'm old enough to appreciate the difference! 
• Queen - The band still exists, but without Freddie Mercury I think it would be significantly underwhelming.

Katie and Lauren at Paul McCartney

There are several other people I would love to see in concert... Josh Groban, Coldplay, Simon & Garfunkel (HA! Yeah right...), Garth Brooks, Ryan Adams, Keane, Heart, Celine Dion... It's a long list. The following is a list of other acts I've seen through the years - some great, others not so great, and some are kinda embarrassing. Especially considering how many times I went BACK to see them...

• *NSync... my first official "rock" concert ever - 7th Grade. And I saw them AGAIN the summer following 8th Grade. I think Sisqo opened for them the second time. Yeah, that Sisqo...
• Backstreet Boys...  Obviously. Though my heart belonged to *NSync in those days. I've seen the BSB's every time they've come to town. That's a total of 3 times with their most recent performance being last June. And I screamed just as hard then as I did when I was 15.
• Toby Keith... Stadium of Fire!
• Jimmy Eat World... twice at UVU. Three if you count that thwarted attempt I made at the BigA** Show a few years ago.
• The Used... they were at the same show as JEW.
• The Cure... one of the more interesting ones, that's for sure.
• Yellowcard
• Mae
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• Damien Rice... with Lisa Hannigan in tow.
• The Fray
• Switchfoot
• Augustana
• Aretha Franklin... we came across a concert of hers in Central Park. Unofficially attended, you might say.
• Iron and Wine
• Eddie Money... 2nd row.
• Voicemale
• Eclipse
• Natalie Cole
• Sissel

The last two were with the MoTab Choir. I'll let you decide if those count or not. 

So I guess this post basically exists to make me feel better about missing the U2 concert. Because from what I heard, it was life-changingly good. EPIC good. There's that word again. Sigh.

Gesundheit!

I've been fighting a lovely mid-spring cold for the last few days. Nothing I can't handle. Though I am having trouble tasting things, breathing with my mouth closed, and resisting the incessant tickle in my throat. And the sneezing? Whew! When I feel a sneeze coming on I have to frantically search for something besides my clothing to sneeze into. These aren't dainty little sneezes, these are monster mucus sneezes. Gross, huh?? It probably looks pretty humorous, actually - me with my face contorted as I try to hold my breath, eyes filling with fluid, scrambling to find the closest snot-rag... Sneezes are funny things. I love sneezing. They can either catch you completely off guard or tease you as you begin feeling that prickling sensation crawl into your nose and behind your eyes, but then nothing happens. I hate an unfulfilled sneeze! Listening to or watching someone sneeze is pretty amusing too. You could be talking to someone and all of a sudden, they stop. Their eyes kinda close, brimming with tears; their nose wrinkles, their head tilts back, and their mouth opens... But before you can ask them what's wrong... AH-CHOOOOO!! Or AH-choo! Or Ah-CHOO! Or Ah-chtsss! It all depends on the person.

I remember being told in Jr. High if I sneezed with my eyes closed, they would pop out of my head from the sheer force of the sneeze itself. Don't worry, it wasn't a health or science teacher. It was a girl in my math class who then devoted the remainder of class trying to make herself sneeze while holding her eyelids open. And no, I wasn't in remedial math. I'll admit I've tried it, but it's impossible to keep your eyes open! (BTW, special thanks to Mythbusters for clearing this one up for me. Busted!) So there ya have it! Sneezing. One of Lauren's favorite past-times. Number of sneezes writing this post: 3.

With this cold also comes a drastic change to the timbre of my voice. It can be kinda growly or croaky, but for the most part it sounds very reminiscent of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. The effect is achieved by my speaking in a lower register and sounding as though I've a throat full of cotton. This both muffles and raspifies my vocal chords and creates a lovely, soft, Piglet-y sound. Alls I need is a nice stutter and the transformation would be complete. 

So while I may be a little under the weather, I am still fully-functioning and enjoying my Saturday. There's nothing to fear. Except my sneezes. 

FLAWFUL: adjective meaning full of flaws, often awful flaws; also short for "I feel awful..."

I hate being confronted with how human I am sometimes. I hate weighing the good against the bad and feeling no matter of good will compensate for the bad. That may sound silly, but it's the way the little gears in my head work. Granted, I may have slipped a cog or two, but I think everyone's been there in some capacity. You know...  That ugly little place where you can't seem to outrun your insecurities? Where you pull out your magnifying glass and focus so intently on your flaws and mistakes that soon everything else gets lost in your peripheral? Yeah, well that's where I've been the last few days. Flawful. What can I say? I'm a mess...

Okay, now that we've shared some no good very bad news, it's time for some more....

Good News/Bad News...  

The Good News... I got to use my Chili's gift card! Yummmm.

The Bad News... I only have about $7 left on it. Saving it for a rainy day.

The Good News... I found the cutest shirt at Ross this evening. It's like Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band meets Elizabeth Bennett... in shirt form. And it makes me feel like I belong in a Coldplay music video...

Mine's in purple, but I may go back and get the gray.

The Bad News... I found another equally cute shirt that I decided to pass up on. And because it's Ross I'll probably never see that particular shirt again. I just didn't feel like spending quite that much. I hate money. 

The Good News... I found this beautiful clip of music from the BBC's mini-series North and South. This track is called "Northbound Train" and it is about the most romantic and tender thing I have ever heard... You heard me... TENDER. 

The Bad News... It has not been released digitally (nor on CD, for that matter) so I can't download it ANYWHERE. I'm stuck with YouTube, I guess. Why, Martin Phipps? Why??

The Good News... Richard Armitage (of North and South) will be in The Hobbit!

The Bad News... He's playing Thorin... Thorin is a dwarf. What?

The Good News... I know what career path I want to pursue! I want to be the first-ever animator/voice-over artist to both create and voice her very own Disney character.

The Bad News... The odds of that happening are dismal. Keep dreaming, Lauren.

The Good News... I made it to work early! I was going in early to cover for someone who had a dentist appointment scheduled for this morning. Usually I roll out of bed, eat breakfast, get ready, and just go whenever I'm ready. I don't really have set hours, but by golly I got there early this morning! Early for me. 

The Bad News... I skipped breakfast and left my house with my hair wet to ensure I got there in time. And when I did get there I discovered this PERSON I went in early for had already been there a full half hour by the time I sauntered in. Turns out her appointment was an hour earlier than expected and she got outta there quicker than she thought. Well, FINE. Still... longer hours mean a better paycheck!

The Good News... All of my laundry is clean!

The Bad News... Most of it is still sitting in baskets, waiting to be put away. 

The Good News... I feel a bit better after posting this.

The Bad News... Well, none I guess!

Not All There

Detail of A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte, Georges Seurat 1884-1886

The closer he looks at the child, the less he sees…The more he looks at it, there’s nothing there and I think he fears that the more you look at him, the less you see—there isn’t anything there. That’s him.

John Hughes

Poor Cameron...

Lately, Lauren Likes...

This picture of a blossoming tree in my front yard. Because I took it! Ha!


Tulips and Daffodils. Because they are everywhere!

Rainy days. Because they make the Tulips and Daffodils possible. Just wait. When your yards are bone dry from the dead heat of summer, you're all going to long for these soggy days.


Beards. Mustaches, no. Beards, yes. I blame the likes of  Viggo Mortensen in "Lord of the Rings" and Ioan Gruffud in "King Arthur" for this one. Oh, and a guy in my ward who started 
sporting one. 

Tron. Because I love Jeff Bridges (Hey! He had a beard!) and because the music was (for the lack of a better word) EPIC. That particular adjective is thrown around way too much these days, but in this case it actually applies. Oh, how that word repulses me. I need to go wash hands now...

Royal Weddings. Because I'm a romantic at heart and can't help but love all of the pomp and circumstance. And because I'm smug and like being able to say things like "Oh, I've been there... And there... Oh, and I walked across that park... And I sat in those seats... Oh, and I saw the Queen once on her birthday... " Shameless? I know.

This quote: 

"There are so many girls, and so few princes."

Liza Minnelli

Why? Because it's true. Sitting through two YSA Stake Conferences in the last month has taught me that. It's just statistics. 

Restaurant Gift Cards. Because it beats spending my own money! 

iTunes Gift Cards... for the same reason. And because I always have lists of songs I want to buy. 

Project Runway Marathons. Because fashion is fascinating and watching people trying to create it is even more so.

Word Games. Especially word games with my family. As long as my brother's not cheating...

American citizens celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden out in the streets. Oh, wait. I actually kinda DIS-like this. Seriously, people! Justice was served and the world is a better place without him, but you're starting to make me feel uncomfortable. 

Flip-flop weather. My tootsies have been itchin' to get out in the fresh air for a while now.

The Simpsons. Because it had been soooooo long since I'd watched it. Still as clever, funny, and amusing as ever. And at times, strangely endearing. Huh.