I Resolve...

This year I will make no New Year's resolutions.  Whatsoever.  Why?  Because my personal resolve, in many aspects of my life, is paper thin and I find it very easy to get discouraged.  I have an all or nothing mentality, so if I commit to something in a fit of bold determination it's really difficult for me to accept it when I fall short of my goal.   The momentum and resolve wears off and once that happens I get this nagging, anxious feeling that I have to start all over again in order to achieve true success.  I end up thinking, "Well, that was a complete flop.  Onto the next thing, I guess!"  I think I give up on myself too readily, make my excuses,  and let my goals fall by the wayside.  So this year, the year of 2011, I will be making a list of what I like to call Worthy Endeavors.  11 to be exact.  11 starting on 1-1-11.  They're areas where I feel I can improve.  And if I don't do them perfectly the first time, then by GOLLY I'll keep trying.


1 - I will endeavor to be more dependable.  This extends to friendships, church callings, family relationships, and work.  Dependable = punctual, considerate, trust-worthy... A NON-flake.  
2 - I will endeavor to overcome past mistakes and not dwell on those negative aspects of my life that seem intent  on defining me as a human being.  Just let it go.
3 - I will endeavor to be more kind.  I make a lot of jokes at other people's expense (whether they are aware of it or not), and while I may follow it up with a "I'm just kidding!" or "Bless his/her heart!" sometimes it's just not nice.
4 - I will endeavor to avoid the welcoming glow of fast-food drive-up windows.  They may be convenient, but if I let it get out of hand it won't be so convenient when I have to replace my entire wardrobe with Moo-Moos and pants with elastic waistbands.  You all just threw up in your mouths a little.
5 - In conjunction with #4, I will endeavor to do more of my own cooking and not leave it to the nice people at Wendy's and the Healthy Choice frozen dinner manufacturers.  I rather enjoy cooking, actually.  Just need to plan ahead and make time for it.  If I make the food, please feel free to come and eat it.  
6 - I will endeavor to cut off all food consumption by 9:00 at night.  (...she said as she spooned the remains of her Rocky Road ice cream into her mouth.)  You're not hungry, Lauren, you're tired.  Go to bed.
7 - I will endeavor to attend all my church meetings.  Consistency is a wonderful thing.
8 - I will endeavor to find some form of physical activity to do during the day.  I go to work, I sit at a desk; I come home from work, I sit at a desk.  It's a little more difficult during what I like to call the armpit of winter, but there's always something I could be doing.  My American Heart Association routine has fallen by the wayside over the last month-- I probably missed a day or two of the program and gave up.  Ironically, (see previous posts on said program) we will be trying again.  Keep me honest, people!
9 - I will endeavor to decide what exactly it is that I want to do professionally.  This is something I've been considering ever since I graduated back in 2009 from the U and got that "What now?" feeling.  Further schooling will most definitely be required no matter what I do, so we'll be exploring some options.  ( Again, see previous posts on this topic.)  I'm not going to sit around and wait to marry my future!  We're gonna make things happen.
10 - I will endeavor to dig up and air out those talents I have buried deep in the cold, hard ground.  They're not doing anyone any good there.


Lastly...


11 - I will endeavor to be happy for others.  Another's victories do not signify our failures.  Remember this, Lauren!


There it is.  And who knows?  Maybe I'll find myself repeating the same mistakes and misguided behaviors of my past, but we  just keep trying and hope eventually we'll get it right.  Right?  Right.  


Well, see ya next year!  

Something I LURV!

Whew!  My last entry was rather bleak.  Okay, so now we know I don't like it when people parade their happiness and good feelings on days when I have not-so-good-and-happy feelings... How dare they, right?  Yeesh.  Now let's discuss something I do like.  

I love iTunes gift cards.  Every Christmas for the past 4 years or so I have received an iTunes gift card.  I just redeemed one for a few songs that have been on my wish-list for a while.  I keep a list of songs I like that I've maybe heard on the radio or in a movie-- some are brand new and some are older songs that maybe I hadn't heard for a while.  That way the next time I go to make a purchase I've got a few options.  Usually I won't think twice about spending a dollar or so on a song or album I really like, but it sure is nice to be gifted X amount of dollars to splurge on some tunes!  So for now I've made my purchases and will wait until I've compiled another list before redeeming the rest.  

It's funny how a new song on the old iPod can totally change your day.  I think it's because listening to the same songs being shuffled over and over again can eventually get monotonous and tiresome.  You need something new in the mix!  You begin to associate certain songs with particular emotions or experiences and once you find that new (or old) song that awakens something familiar inside of you, all you need to do is press a button and it's added to a catalog of other emotions and experiences.  Our music library is a reflection of who we are!   When I'm having a bad day, I love being able to turn on my music and find a song that either perfectly expresses how I'm feeling or can pick me up and help me shake off whatever has been bothering me.  Music can do that!  It's wonderful.  A world without music would be very miserable indeed.    

Here's a sampling of my latest acquisitions...

"A Day in the Life"  The Beatles

"Kid" The Pretenders

"We Belong" Pat Benetar

"High and Dry" Radiohead

"Siren Song" Bat for Lashes

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" Starship

"Somebody Loved"  The Weepies

"Darling, I Do" Landon Pigg

Grumpy Grumpy Grouchy Grouchy

I'm prone to late-night posts lately.  Should be in bed.  But no.

As I perused facebook this evening I came across a post from someone with whom I am not particularly good friends with in real life.  I basically just know her well enough to be facebook friends which, let's be honest, does not signify a meaningful relationship.  In fact, I'm not sure why I haven't de-friended her.  It just seems so harsh.  Anyhoo...

This individual is a big fan of the feel-good status update.  Updates that include inspirational quotes that follow up with proclamations of how blessed she is.  Oh.  Well.  How nice.  What's unfortunate is that I usually come across these posts on days when I have NOT felt particularly blessed and have been decidedly grumpy.  I acknowledge the blessings in my life, but I don't feel a need to broadcast them to the world.  I may share something exciting or eventful or quirky that has happened in my otherwise uneventful life, but to say, "I am SO blessed..."  Who is that for, exactly?  Is it for our, the viewing public's, benefit?  Is it for her personal benefit?  Do you really have to burden the rest of us with how wonderful your life is?  And she is not the only person who does this, she just does it with the greatest frequency.  Which is maybe why I am so bugged.  I just think there is a difference between saying, "My life could not be more blessed right now" and "Boy, I sure feel thankful today" or "Y'know, today was a pretty good day."  The former doesn't sit well with me.  I don't want to begrudge another person their happiness and contentedness with life, but...  Yeah, I don't know.  Sometimes it's just thrown in your face when you'd really rather not have to put up with it.  Does that make sense?

She just happened to post the wrong thing on the wrong day, thereby getting on my bad side.  Which is why I blocked her.  So much for taking the high road.  

I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Just a brief outline (with pictures!) of my trip to New York this past week.  Now, if you find I didn't see much or do very many exciting and touristy things, please remember this concluded my 5th trip to NY over the course of 10 years. There is way too much to see and do!  And I only had 5 days.  So while the museums and iconic landmarks fell by the wayside on this particular trip, I did get a nice healthy dose of the theater and took in some of those sights outside the bustling metropolis of Manhattan.  My only regrets?  Not visiting Serendipity or walking across the Brooklyn Bridge--both considered 
important family traditions whenever we find ourselves back there.  

Let our journey begin...

My Aunt and Uncle's house in Mamaroneck, Long Island.  It's lovely!  They own lots of artwork so it's like a museum of sorts.  But it's not cold.  

Lunch at Mamaroneck Diner with my equally lovely Grandma!

Outside the Dakota.  This is the apartment where John Lennon lived with Yoko Ono.  We were there during the 30th Anniversary of John's death so we decided to brave the cold and pay homage.

The next few pictures are of Strawberry Fields in Central Park and of the IMAGINE mosaic memorial where people left flowers and other items.

It was nice, but it was the coldest bloody day ever.

 We went and saw the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular... And with a title like that you can bet it was pretty great.  It gave me what I like to call that "Disney" feeling...  

You know what I mean.

Tin Soldiers!  The Rockettes fell like dominoes, but in slow motion .  And I mean SLOW slow motion.  My muscles cringed just watching them.

The Nativity Scene.  The Grande Finale!! 

Posing in front of some cool street decor.  Those are twinkle lights if you weren't aware.

Gorgeous tree at my Aunt's house.  What is it?  It's exquisite.

Watching it doesn't mean I'll "mind" it.  I think the English have it right.

Grand Central Station... indeed.  

We ate lunch here and caught my cousin Olivia's Christmas Choral Concert upstairs at the Chase Building.  Then we perused the boutiques where I kept my hands in my pockets because I could barely afford to look at some of those items.  Yowzah.

Deep intake of breath... And BLOW!!!

My Birthday Cake... Blew the candles right off that thing!  It was so buttery and yummy and full of birthday goodness.

Now here's a hot spot!  We travelled up into Tarrytown to visit the Village of Sleepy Hollow (yes, that one) to see it's cemetery and, of course, it's famous bridge.

Yeah, you would too!

The Hudson on a foggy day.

 Rockefeller Center... We had to fight a pretty crazy crowd to get these pictures!  I've never been so jostled in my entire life!

 Ah, yes.  Bernadette singing Sondheim.  What else?  It's "Send in the Clowns" for sobbing out loud!  I laughed.  I cried.  I felt slightly uncomfortable at times.  But it was mah-velous.

The face of Grand Central...  Heading back to Long Island after my final trip into the city.

So, there you have it!  Culture, glamour, Christmas cheer-- with a little history thrown in for good measure.

Happy 25th to me! 

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for...

My mom has always told me I was forbidden to get married until I turned twenty-five years old.  Well, we happen to be nearing that most auspicious and commemorative of birthdays.  Yes, in exactly a week's time I will be turning 25!  I just thought I'd notify the male population at large that after all these years you can finally cease your waiting and pursue me at will.  I patiently await your undying pledges of love and loyalty.


One at a time, please.