Projects

My bedroom looks like a ransacked flea market in an abandoned prison cell. I've moved boxes, books, and furniture around to the point I don't even like my own stuff anymore. Which is why some of it either went straight in the trash or up to Savers. 

Phases completed: Walls de-wallpapered and (disgusting) carpet torn out - except for one last patch. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it was. If you ever remove wallpaper in your own home, make sure you have patience to spare and help if you can find it. Moving on... Here are the many phases that remain: purchase laminate, commit to a shade of gray (not Christian Gray) for my walls, rip out baseboards, patch and paint walls, install new floor and baseboards. Oh, and choose new light fixtures... And paint furniture... And buy new hardware for furniture. Now that there's absolutely no going back, the "before" photos I took last week are looking pretty good.

Throughout this project - did I mention I'm remodeling my bedroom? - I've entertained myself by watching my sister's newly purchased Gilmore Girls DVDs. If you're out on the road, Feeling lonely and so co-old... It's a complete set. I'm halfway through season 3 (the Jess season!), so hopefully by the time Rory graduates from Yale and rejects Logan's marriage proposal to cover Obama's 2008 presidential campaign, I will have finished my ambitious project. 

3 1/2 seasons to go...

Wistful Weekend

Well, today was definitely a shuffle. Plans were made and then cancelled, dinner at way-too-crowded Cafe Rio quickly became dinner at the only-slightly-less-crowded Crown Burger, and movie watching gave way to lesson planning for Relief Society on Sunday. I even made little handouts... If the lesson doesn't go well - which is always a frightening possibility - at least the sisters will have something to show for it. 

Whilst assembling supplies and cutting out paper for my little lesson-savers, I distractedly watched the 2005 adaptation of Pride & Prejudice, glancing up here and there for my favorite parts. Parts like this one...

About 3/4 in, I turned it off. This is usually a go-to feel-good movie for me, but tonight it majorly bummed me out. Wistful - there's the word. Darcy was proposing to Elizabeth in the rain, and I just sat there with craft scissors in my hand and a lump in my throat. So I stopped the DVD and focused on my lesson. After a long day I just didn't feel up to boo-hooing over Jane Austen, thank you very much. 

Maybe tomorrow night.

A Proper Galentine's Day

Happy Galentine's Day! "It's only the best day of the year..." And for this Galentine's Day, I made a major coup. For months now I've tried to persuade my sister to watch Austenland with me. I didn't want to come across as overeager, but I just knew she would love it...

 "Try it, try it and you may!
Try it and you may I say..."

  "I do not like this Austenland, 

I do not like it Sam I Am..."  

This is never the best practice whilst trying to persuade a person to do anything - it's like a death sentence for whatever your objective is. So I kept the hype to a minimum. "Will you PLEASE watch it with me?? It's SO GOOD... But, like, whatever... Do what you want..." Well, the movie was released last week and sure enough, Redbox (well, the second Redbox I tried) had a copy! Now was my chance... While my mom was on board, Katie still protested. Don't worry - I soon wore her down with some sisterly manipulation and a promise she could choose what we watched next time. 

And didn't she just love it as much as I thought she would! She is ogling pictures of JJ Field online even as we speak. A proud moment for me... Even if it is one of the silliest movies I've ever seen... A good silly.

It's the GIF that keeps on GIF-ing...

"Hello."

Downton Abbey Season 4... CHECK.

Moving on...

"Hello."

For anyone who cares, here's where I found new episodes... Besides Downton and Sherlock, you'll probably find other shows worth watching as well. Just make sure you leave time for sleeping and eating. And tending to your children, if you have them. 

Lately Lauren...

Likes

...Access to all of Downton Abbey Season 4 and Sherlock Season 3. I'm abstaining from just watching them all at once. Which I could easily do at this point, but let's savor them while we can, okay?

...A recent purge of my closet and other belongings. I hate being weighed down by STUFF. What would be a good name for the newly assembled pile of stuff now occupying a lonely corner of my room? A smother. A smother of stuff. And it's going straight to the D.I. where it can smother someone else. 

...The topic for my Relief Society lesson on the 19th. Now to keep myself from over-preparing.

...UN-decking the halls. Christmas is lovely, but all those glittering ornaments were starting to bum me out in this post-Christmas climate. 

..."Say Something" as performed by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera. Also from A Great Big World, "This Is The New Year." It's a bit older, but very appropriate for obvious reasons. 

Another year you made a promise

Another chance to turn it all around

And do not save this for tomorrow

Embrace the past and you can live for now

...When my Dad brings home Spicy Buffalo Wings and Loaded Potato Skins to share. We'll forgive him for forgetting the Blue Cheese Dressing. Why did I capitalize so many things in those sentences??

...The entire office being excused early so we all had time to commute home safely.

...The musical episode of Psych and watching it with one of my very favorite families... "I've heard it BOTH ways!"

...My new phone! Long overdue... And it has a great camera. Too bad I can't take a picture of my phone with my new phone.

...My new coat from Old Navy! A steal at $20.99:

As much as I'd like to admit I find myself too enraptured with my list of likes to be bothered by much else, there are always just a few other things worth acknowledging... 

Loathes

...Smoggish fog and the armpit of winter. I hope it snows more to clear out the air and then promptly melts thereafter. I know we need the moisture, but let's make it rain instead! Ew, I said moisture.

...The prospect of school in one week... Sob.

...Nagging anxiety and the feeling of being pulled in about a thousand different directions. I can't seem to find a balance or prioritize everything going on right now and it's making me feel very unsettled.

...It's something I probably do all the time (maybe in this very entry), but lately I loathe the humblebrag. Bragging is bad enough without sugarcoating it with false modesty.

...The fact I get sucked into fashion and lifestyle blogs. I am both repulsed and transfixed. Essentially all these women do everyday is put on clothes and take pictures of themselves. Supposedly these blogs are designed to "empower & inspire" women (and some do!), but I think they also make us feel more insecure. Methinks the only woman who really feels empowered afterward is the one wearing the designer digs (c/o some-label-or-another) as she poses for her husband's camera. Hmmm... Tell me more about how $200 is a great deal for a pair of cashmere leggings. (Scrolls to view more pictures...)

...A looming visit to the doctor.

...Politics. That's all you're getting on that one.

Don't worry - fashion blogs are pretty low on my list of concerns. And humblebrags are just an occasional annoyance. Politics are always yucky, school comes and goes, and doctors visits are a necessary and uncomfortable evil we all endure. As far as the weather - it's Utah. A change of season is never very far off. But let's still cross our fingers for an early Spring. And lots of rain. 

SNOW

Yeah, that's about right... 

"Remember, we're in England - land of good manners..."

The Wee, Small Hours

I am blogging right now at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am. Why up so late/early?? My family and I watched a movie of my mother's choosing earlier Saturday evening - a movie she remembers being thoroughly creeped out by when she was younger. I was fine during most of the movie. It was very dated and we all laughed at the hokey hairstyles and outfits of the early 1970s. Even so, the story was pretty grim. Then it took such a dark turn at the end I thought I was going to be sick. My mom called the movie creepy, but it was the most disturbing things I've seen in a long time. Maybe ever. The movie is called The Other (not the Nicole Kidman movie) if you're interested, but I wouldn't recommend it... I give this movie an F. F as in There's no FREAKIN' way I'm ever watching this again.

So while I wait for daylight, I'm trying to think of more cheerful things. I even watched 2 other movies - Star Trek: Into Darkness and Penelope - to create a sort of movie buffer between myself and the evening's earlier viewing selection. That worked briefly. I've gone over my notes for my Relief Society lesson tomorrow. That worked briefly as well. The trouble occurs when I actually close my eyes and try to fall asleep. I know there's nothing but nightmares waiting for me there, so wide awake it is.  

Think cheerful, Lauren...

I'm getting excited for fall. This current cooling off has me seeing warm hues of red, orange, and gold. If I could find a place where the weather is in constant transition between summer and winter, I would never leave. Even the rain has perked me up. And guess what? There's a word for that! Thank you, Pinterest.

Speaking of fall, I'm finally right in the thick of the semester. My tuition is paid so there's no going back now! I miss my leisurely weekday evenings, but at least I have Friday thru Sunday. This past Friday I co-hosted a party for a friend who recently returned from an internship in D.C. We knew we wanted to have a themed party around a specific movie and that we wanted to dress up fancy. We debated Disney, Jane Austen, Downton Abbey, The Great Gatsby, and various superhero films. We finally settled on a Captain America party with everyone wearing 1940s dress. We had old-timey music, strands of paper lanterns, mocktails, appetizers, and fondue. Because when it comes to Captain America... 

...We most certainly fon-DOOOOOO!! And if you fon-DON'T, you're crazy.

A Gentleman

This moment of chivalry brought to you by Tom Hiddleston at the MTV Movie Awards... 

Me...

What a gentleman. And that better not be Julianne Hough.

"I'm PRO me and ANTI you!"

Since people use online media as a means of communicating their opinions regarding social and political issues (more often than I am comfortable with in some cases), I regularly stumble on all sorts of “helpful” bits of commentary via the likes of facebook and blogger. This is why I am so grateful that my facebook feed has a hide feature. Some people never, NEVER get down from their soap boxes (...she said from her soap box). By all means, enjoy your freedom of speech... Yammer away... Enlighten us with your unsurpassed knowledge and understanding. BUT if you start spewing ugliness, regardless of whether I agree with your position or not, I will hide you. 

Really, it’s not so much people's opinions I mind but how they express them. There are ways of constructively presenting your argument, virtually and otherwise, and then there’s what everyone else does. I am not partial to arguments made by people who, while claiming to be right (no questions asked), spew hateful and prejudiced remarks at anyone who doesn't support their position. Their attitude is "I'm right, and the rest of you are idiots." Well, guess what? I am far less likely to listen to you.

I am not talking about any specific issue or group of people. Or am I... ? No, it all sort of depends on what is currently "trending." Regardless of the issue, you'll find people on every side pointing fingers and attributing intolerance, inequality, insensitivity, and all manner of other “ins” to anyone with a differing opinion. Which is a bit ironic, when you consider the attitudes of the finger-pointers. How can I respect your views and demands for tolerance when they are offered in conjunction with a blatant disrespect for mine? I think most people don't want to listen as much as they want to be heard. And some, I fear, want only to provoke others. To sling mud and start trouble. I have often wanted to throw a few handfuls myself, but to what end? To justify my frustration with others' behavior? To satisfy my pride? To add to the ugliness?

I think diversity is good. I think it's wonderful that we live in a country where you can actually have an opinion about things. But because we are so diverse and because - in the grand historic scheme of things - we are still a relatively young country, there will always be instances of discord among the masses and a slew of conflicting beliefs. We never stop evolving, nor do our differences. In fact, the gap seems to widen. So what do we do when such conflict arises? For some, it's finding the nearest mud hole, loading up, and "Ready... Aim... FIRE!" Sorry, but for those of you rolling around in the mud and the muck, I will not be joining you. Though some of you really tempt me.

And now, Salem Saberhagen...

Best Friend status if you remember this episode...

Saturday's Warriors

 

 

 

Don't stare at these for very long. You might have a seizure. I hope to flex some superhero muscle of my own today. My nemesis? A lengthy to-do list that needs checking off. As for the last item on my list...

• 5:00 - See The Avengers

FINALLY.

No Extra Parts

 

 

Good News/Bad News

It's that time again. Good News/Bad News time. How do I know? Because it's been a while since it was that time.

The Good... It was such a beautiful day! Nice and warm.

The Bad... It's too early to be this warm. At this point, June and July are looming on the horizon like the Fires of Mordor. I can't stand the heat! I can't even sit the heat.  

The Good... I still like my haircut! I tend to regret these things.

The Bad... It takes a bit longer to do the 'do in the morning. More styling of the hairs involved.

The Good... My Zumba feet are on the mend! And my calves are spectacular. 

The Bad... Nobody thought to tell my rear end.

The Good... Lauren has a new job! Starting April 23rd!

The Bad... (You asked for it...) As a result, I have experienced varying stages of Lauren Crisis Mode in the last 48 hours. The aforementioned crisis in question could hardly even be considered a crisis, but that doesn't matter much when you're me. Last Friday I applied for this position. That same afternoon I was called in for an interview. That same DAY I was offered the position. Thursday, as I updated my resume, I felt confident about my decision to apply. This job would prove a wonderful opportunity! There were no guarantees they'd even take me on, but I still wanted to try. 

Fast-forward to Monday when I handed in my 2 weeks notice. Now that I'm faced with the prospect of leaving my current job, panic has set in. Am I making the right decision? Should I have exhausted my other options? Am I ready for this change? 

I know all this anxiety is just a symptom of change, but knowing that doesn't make things any easier. A new job is GOOD NEWS. I just hate change. I'm abandoning what's comfortable in pursuit of the unknown. This week I've been looking around my office and thinking stupid things like "This stapler... I will never use this stapler again..." or "Look at all my sticky-note reminders..." or "That might be the last time I talk to So-and-So... I like So-and-So..."  They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but what if that's because I wasn't tending to my own grass well enough? What if I was too distracted by grass elsewhere that I couldn't adequately appreciate the grass I had? What if the grass where I'm going is worse? What if I don't even like grass?! AAAHHHHH!!

Yeesh, that's a lot of bad...

Anyway, I'm trying to cast my mind back to last Thursday when I felt better about the prospect of a new job. Because in my heart of hearts I know it's a good thing. Meanwhile, let us think happy thoughts... "Butterflies, Diet Coke, kittens, free chocolate, James McAvoy..." 

See? Better already. I think... 

Dizzy

Once again, we're experimenting with a minimalist blog layout. Until I start missing color, that is. Oh well... I like it for now. 

This week has been... yeah. It's been quite the week and I'm glad it's over. My mind has been spinning from all sorts of things, but let's just forget it. Let's pretend this week never happened.

 That's all for now, really. Enjoy the spinning.

Fish Cookies and Bridget Jones

My last post was a little high-octane, was it not? I guess I had some writing withdrawals while off on vacation. The result was the equivalent of projectile vomiting a bunch of random nothings onto the blog. I am feeling much more subdued this time around, due in part to a nasty, phlegmy cough I picked up somewhere this week. (Cough, cough! Wheeze, wheeze!) I wanted to hibernate for the day, but had to finish up a project at work. Why can't one ever just enjoy being sick? 

Last night I joined a friend for some Valentine treat-making. Actually, I mostly watched her make the treats since the likes of cake balls are just a bit too advanced for me. I was, however, most useful at consuming the rejects. Not that there were many. Sadly. Later we frosted and decorated some cookies, during which I did participate in the creative process and not just the consumptive process. Here are a few cheery photos of our work...

The fishy one (if you could even tell it was a fish) was a failed attempt at a cursive "L" made from m&m's. As you can see, I ran out of room. It started looking like a breast cancer awareness ribbon so I stuck an m&m in the center. Fishes have kiss-y faces so it works somewhat for Valentines. 

While we frosted, we watched Bridget Jones's Diary. I needed something funny and cute and English. I will watch pretty much anything starring Hugh Grant playing his token role as a sexy, albeit floppy-haired, "prat." And it goes without saying I find it most (MOST) agreeable whenever Colin Firth stars as a Darcy, whether it's Mr. Mark Darcy or Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. So versatile... And so handsome!

Observe...

How would one ever choose?   

One of those days...

This post is a little strange and a little random...

I woke up this morning and knew it was going to be one of those days. Actually, I went to bed last night knowing it was going to be one of those days. Lo and behold…

It’s one of those days you wish there was something to distract you from yourself for a little while. Like a circus or an apocalyptic event. I’m sitting here in my obsessive stupor and wondering what it would be like to just get outside of my head, my own little personal labyrinth of exaggerated distress. How’s that for revelatory? Have I made you feel adequately uncomfortable yet? Really, the only reason I’m here is because I was in need of some distraction. So barring the end of the world or some other catastrophe, blogging will have to do. I feel better already!

Yesterday I was very ill. It hit on Sunday and accompanied me into Monday. I was feeling rather stingy with my germs so I called into work and stayed in my basement pretty much all day long, emerging only for sustenance. Like toast. And soup. And crackers. Snuggled in my Love Sac, I watched all 6 hours of Wives and Daughters and then a couple episodes of Doctor Who. I attempted The Dark Crystal later on, but discovered very quickly that I most definitely was NOT in the mood for The Dark Crystal. So I cued up the Xbox and danced around a little instead, which I regretted later. It was a bad move on my part. Actually my “moves” were pretty good, just a little too good for one who had been laid up all day long.

Oh! I met Hugh Grant's American doppleganger over the weekend. Bizarro Hugh. Later I looked up a picture of the real Hugh to make sure I was remembering him correctly. Sure enough... 

I need new jeans. I say that because since this post really has no purpose, I can change the topic of discussion when I want. That, and I just looked at the bottoms of the jeans I'm wearing ("bottom" as in the lowest region of the pant legs, not "bottom" as in... THE bottom...). They're looking pretty tattered. Winter is hard on trousers. Because as you walk through the snow and mucky muck, the bottoms get drenched and then they start to sag with their drench-ed-ness. Soon you're walking on the hems, fraying the edges and turning them black. So yeah, time for new jeans. Maybe tomorrow. This sorry pair have already seen a couple winters.

Well, before I start describing what my split ends look like (Really, it's next on my list - ew!), I'd better sign off. Here's a little something I've had sitting in my blogging folder that needed its day in the sun. What better day than today? A dreary day full of old jeans and recovering illness... And it's only the single most wonderful moment in the entire movie. AHHH! I just watched it about 186 times... It's no secret that I love him. No secret at all. That face...

Yes, THAT face...

Here's to tomorrow and the promise of new jeans!

Electric Lights on Strings... And Other Things

"This looks like fun, this looks like fun! Oh, could it be I got my wish?"

We've all been dying at work these last few days. The Christmas clock is tick-tick-ticking away and we all have so much we still need to do. However, none of it is really work-related... I sit at my desk and think of items not purchased, treats not made, mix-tapes not compiled, friends not visited, and gifts not wrapped. Tonight I am playing Christmas Elf, trying to get as much done as I can before the AM. Why? Because I know as soon as I'm back on that clock and behind that desk the hours will drag. And before the day is over I will consider a slow and painful death via electric stapler at least once. It's the same feeling a child encounters while waiting for recess. "I don't wanna do these multiplication tables, I wanna go outside and climb something or throw something or swing from something!" It's not that work itself has been killing me, it's all the stuff sitting unfinished at home that's killing me! Piles of it. Mountains of it. So much left to do!

That's it... I'm abandoning my to-do list. No more shopping or cooking or wrapping. Everyone gets a hug for Christmas. Hugs are cheap. Hugs don't require a lot of preliminary preparation or thought. A hug is just what everyone wants for Christmas. 

And if there's mistletoe, you might just get a smooch too! 

No refunds.

Let It Snow Already!

I'm ready for snow... Blankets of snow. Quilts of snow. Great, downy duvets of snow! I'm about ready to knock out the wall in the back of my closet in an attempt to find a snowy Narnia. If it's going to be this cold, we might as well have some lovely snow...

More Open Letters

Dear Hair,

You are way too long. Stop it.

Dear Pants,

You are way too tight. Stop it.

Dear Family,

It was fun seeing you all over the weekend. We're never short on laughs! I think our get-togethers are too few and far between. 

Dear November,

You're beautiful! Let's keep these golden autumn days coming!

Dear Minute Maid Juice Boxes,

When will I ever learn that drinking too much juice at one time will inevitably lead to an upset tummy and a fussy Lauren? You were pretty sweet going down, but now you're causing quite the stir. Ugh.

Dear Tummy,

I'm sorry!

Dear Florence + The Machine,

Your newest song would be #1 on the current soundtrack of my life... "I'm always dragging that horse around." That burdensome, irritating, lump of a horse. "Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground." 

Dear Boo Kitty,

I'm sorry you didn't realize the window was closed before you tried to jump through it. You are one dumb kitty, but still pretty cute. 

Dear James,

No, YOU are my sunshine.

Blogged from here.

Dear Season 3 of Doctor Who (again... I know, I'm sorry), 

I think we're going to be okay. And I think (I think, I think) that Katie will tune in every once in a while so I'm not so alone in the world. Which is good news for everyone at the Waters household since they're pretty sick of my going on (and on and on) about a show they've never even heard of. 

ATTENTION: If anyone out there watches this show, don't be shy... I need a support group. Or an intervention.

Dear Self,

Unhappiness does not have to signify an absence of gratitude, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It is possible to feel sorrow and  gratitude at the same time. Sometimes it's
gratitude that saves us from our sorrows.

Dear Girlfriends,

We need a GNO ASAP! OK? LOL... JK... CUL8R? Haha...

Dear Brian Regan,

I look forward to seeing you in 2 months.

Dear Reader,

Good night.

With love.

From Me.

To You.

Triple D!

Okay, Drop Dead Diva had their Season 3 finale last night and my mom (who was upstairs) said if she hadn't known my sister and I were in the basement watching DDD, she'd have thought there was an axe murderer in the house...

(Side note: My mom is reading a book about Lizzie Borden... you know...

Lizzie Borden took an axe,

Gave her mother 40 whacks,

When she saw what she had done

She gave her father 41.

So every thing's been axe murderers with her lately.)

But yes, we did scream and wail and carry on like a couple of crazies. Words cannot adequately describe the sounds that emitted from our mouths as we watched the final minutes of the show. We were embarrassing. But the show really is quite good. 

The premise: Deb is an aspiring model. She crashes her car on the way to an audition and dies. She presses "return" before she can be admitted into Heaven and her spirit gets sent back to earth. However, she is no longer occupying her own body but the body of a brilliant attorney named Jane. Jane,the polar opposite of Deb in every way imaginable, has recently been shot and rushed to the hospital. However, when she finally comes to she isn't Jane... She's Jane/Deb... Deb's spirit in Jane's body. 

So based on that premise alone, I remember thinking "Oh great, a show where a beautiful model is punished by being put into a heavy a girl's body. Perfect." And of course, I was wrong. 

As the show progresses Deb/Jane discovers that while she has all of Deb's personality and memories, she also has all of Jane's intellect. She's smart - super smart. One major twist in the story is that the day before real Jane was shot she hired a new lawyer at her law firm. That lawyer was Grayson. Grayson was Deb's fiance. Before she died. GASP! So not only does Deb have to pursue this new life as Jane, but she has to do it while working alongside the love of her life who can never know her true identity. It's a rule apparently. If she ever tells him who she really is, there are consequences... It's like this: if Grayson loved Deb for more than just her good looks then it makes sense that eventually he could connect with Deb/Jane as well. That maybe one day he could "see" her. And that is Deb/Jane's torment.

Never fear, Deb/Jane is not completely alone. She has a guardian angel by the name of Fred who is sent to help her along and in a fit of desperation she reveals her identity to her best friend, Stacey. Before she knew what the "rules" were, apparently. They are the only two who know that Jane is Deb and Deb is Jane. Take all that, throw in the occasional musical dream sequence, lots of guest stars (Liza Minelli,  Paula Abdul, Rosie O'Donnell, LeeAnn Rimes, etc.), and a bunch of court cases and you have the show... You follow?

*     *     *

With a formula like that there are bound to be some very entertaining and squeal worthy moments. Last night's finale was no exception. And let's be honest, considering the average American woman is a size 12-14, it's kind of refreshing to see a female lead who may be a little huskier than your standard barely-there TV starlett. Though I may be a little bias... cough, cough... I guess that means the show's like Ally McBeal... if Ally McBeal looked like someone who might exist in real life. 

After all, happy endings on TV aren't always just for the
skinny chicks, right? RIGHT??