Kryptonite

Things are rather grim at the moment. The following is an exaggeration, but the melodrama makes me feel better...

The air conditioning is spewing very little air into my bedroom and I don't much like how loud my trusty box fan is when turned up to its highest setting. It's what I imagine riding in a fan-propelled airboat on a bayou would sound like. But the cool-but-noisy vs. still-but-sweltering debate is a no-brainer: cool-but-noisy every time. 

Last night I woke up in a fit because I was too hot. Pillows, blankets, PJs, hair, etc. - all uncomfortably warm and heavy and terrible. A sleep-tantrum ensued and I kicked every offending article from my bed. Lost my cool because I couldn't keep my cool. 

A lesson on Kryptonite (as outlined on Wikipedia): 

Superman is most vulnerable to Kryptonite... Exposure to Kryptonite nullifies Superman's powers and immobilizes him with pain and nausea; prolonged exposure will eventually kill him.

Substitute "kryptonite" and "Superman" with "heat" and "Lauren" (respectively) and adjust the pronouns... There... That about covers it. (It will kill me.)

DISCLAIMER: Hot weather related whine-posts will continue through September at the latest.