Wind Bag

Sometimes I embarrass myself... in front of myself. I embarrass myself plenty, but usually I'm blessed with a larger audience. Like in Church or onstage or around people I don't know very well. Embarrassing yourself in front of yourself is fun because at least you can laugh and say, "Boy, I'm glad no one saw that." You can walk away unscathed. Embarrassing yourself in front of others is less fun. 

A couple Fridays ago I bought a salad at Wendy’s for lunch and found a nice shady tree near my office to eat under. It was a very breezy day. I removed my lunch from its sack and soon found myself scrambling for napkins as they skirted across the lawn. Grabbing for the napkins I dropped the sack. Making an unsuccessful grab for the sack, I dropped the napkins. You see where I’m going with this… Now neither sack nor napkins were in my clutches. I stood and began chasing the windblown items as they darted to and fro. The napkins soon became a lost cause (bye-bye napkins) so I concentrated my efforts on the sack. No sooner would I make a desperate grab then SWOOSH - it would dart another 10 feet ahead of me. How long did this go on? A lot longer than it should have… I made one final lunge and pinned the rogue sack beneath my foot. Ha-HA! Wadding it up in my fist, I walked triumphantly back to my shady spot and enjoyed the rest of my lunch. I'm not entirely confident no one saw me from our office building, but let's pretend they did not.

Later that same day I sat at my desk and started talking to a co-worker in the next cubicle. I was chatting away about a customer when I turned around and realized my co-worker wasn’t anywhere near her desk. Or within the sound of my voice. "Blah blah blah blah... Haha, right?... Oh... Hello?... I'm alone... " I was just gab-gab-gabbing away. How long did this go on? Again, a lot longer than it should have...